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"I feel the heaviness in the room," Chris Harrison says when he walks in at the beginning of the episode to lay out this week's schedule. He notes the heaviness again when he returns at for the rose ceremony. Both of his observations were accurate, because a lot of emotionally weighty things happened this week: Ben revealed that his father is recovering from open-heart surgery, Jubilee opened up about her sad past, friends of Ben's from back home died in a plane crash, and Lace's mental health deteriorated to the point where she had to leave the show. It's dark territory for The Bachelor. Parts of this episode felt like Six Feet Under.
The specter of death hung over the episode. Jubilee has had a seriously hard life: Her entire family died in Haiti, but she was adopted and came to America. She struggles with survivor's guilt. It's been mentioned several times that Jubilee is "complicated," and this episode really made that clear. Jubilee has been allowed to be the most interesting, multi-dimensional character of any of the girls this season, and I hope she sticks around for awhile, because her presence is a reminder that there's more to life than the single-minded quest for validation these people are on. Life could end at any moment, and these petty squabbles and temporary heartbreaks mean very little. And Jubilee seems to forget that, even though she should know better. She's complex!
Jubilee & Ben Higgins, The Bachelor
Enough of the heavy stuff. Let's get to the awkward moments.
8. Ben farts in the hot tub
If you didn't stick around through the end credits, you may have missed this bonus clip. Ben is in the hot tub in the middle of nowhere with Lauren B., whom he's gaga for, and he rips a bubbler. To be fair, he probably didn't actually fart, and it was one of those air bubbles men get in their swim trunks breaking free when he moved, but it sounded like a fart. It had to be extra embarrassing happening in front of Lauren B., who never farts. He laughs the hardest he's laughed on the show, so we now know that he has the sense of humor of an 8-year-old.
7. The girls are so bad at soccer
Could you imagine if two World Cup winners saw you flinch when a ball was gently kicked in your general direction? Humiliating. They were bouncing the balls off their boobs and getting hit in the face and generally being super inept, except for Emily, who should change her occupation from "twin" to "goalie." She went into Beast Mode and was getting stops like she was Tim Howard. "Balls flying at your face is never fun," she says. Emily must be a Clueless fan.
6. Jubilee is a sore winner, so Amber tries to take her down a peg
This is kind of a confusing sequence, and seems like it may have been manufactured by producers for drama. As I understand it, Jubilee is acting distant and haughty after she receives a rose, so a small group of girls led by Amber get mad and try to confront her about acting weird. It doesn't seem to me like Jubilee is acting particularly strangely, though, so that's why I think this was made up. The real awkward moment is when Amber tries to get her to come to listen to the other girls attack her. Amber is like, "Why won't you let us gang up on you?" and Jubilee is like, "Because." The whole thing made Amber look like a mean girl.
5. The music wasn't live
During Lauren B. and Ben's date, they get a private concert from a country singer called Lucy Angel. But instead of the audio of the live performance, during the show they played a recording. It was weird! It felt artificial, like a musical performance from Twin Peaks.
The 7 most awkward moments of The Bachelor Episode 2
4. Lace leaves
Before the rose ceremony, Lace pulls Ben aside one last time (note his sigh as he follows her into the hall, like "here we go") and tearfully says that she needs to take some time to work on herself. I expected Lace to explode, not implode, and I wasn't the only one: "It looks like Lace is reaching the end of her dynamite stick," says Caila. But no, Lace is only mad at herself. Poor Lace. As I noted last week, she's a very unhappy person. I hope she really does work through whatever made her behave like she did on The Bachelor.
3. Lauren B. and Ben can't reach each other to kiss
Lauren B. and Ben keep trying to make out during the biplane ride, but the microphones on their helmets keep getting in the way. They have to contort their mouths around the microphones to get their lips to touch. It looks uncomfortable.
Champagne, caviar, and hot dogs?
Posted by The Bachelor on Friday, January 15, 2016
2. Jubliee's date
Jubilee is a socially awkward person, or "awko taco," as Jami says. Much of her behavior on her date was borderline inappropriate. Mostly in a charming way, but still. First, she's kind of rude to Ben when he shows up late. She doesn't act particularly excited, even though she is (there's no playing it cool on The Bachelor!). Then when she sees the helicopter, she says she's scared of heights and asks, "Does anyone else want to go on my date?" It's weird that she's so scared to go in a helicopter, because she served in Afghanistan. If anyone on this show has prior helicopter experience, it should be Jubes. Then she spits out the caviar Ben gives her. When he asks what food she likes, she says she's "obsessed" with hot dogs. She calls Ben "white boy," and when Ben says, "I ain't that white" (which is a very weird thing to say, and I want to know more about what Ben means by that), she says, "So I've heard," which makes him turn bright red. Ben is very wholesome and doesn't go for that racy talk! She also basically calls him fake, because she says he pretends to laugh at things he doesn't actually think are funny. Jubilee is weird. It might just be that she has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that doesn't play in such an earnest setting. Her talking about her personal history was awkward, but for different reasons. It was too dark for The Bachelor's frothy tone.
1. Olivia and her ugly toes
Olivia seems to be in second place behind Lauren B. right now, and the other girls resent her for it. So they talk trash about her fat toes. It's incredibly petty and hilarious. Haley, in a confessional, says fat toes aren't a big deal, but Olivia's boobs are fake and her breath is horrible. Jami feels bad and snitches to Olivia, who is torn between acting like she doesn't care, and laughing it off and showing how much it truly hurts her feelings. Olivia, you see, hates her whole lower half, her "cankles" and her fat toes. So much so that she has to take Ben aside, moments after he just told everyone the news of his friends from back home dying in a plane crash, and tell him about her leg insecurities. "It's not what I want to talk about," Ben says in a confessional. Olivia has no idea that there are other people in the world besides her. Olivia is the villain now that Lace is gone.
Lauren B., Jubilee, and Amber got date roses. Shushanna the Cabbage-Eater and Jami were eliminated. Maybe next week the mood will be lighter. This week was too much.