Thank the lord of the dance that...

Thank the lord of the dance that they decided to condense the sentimental farewell to Allan and Snow into 15 minutes. Especially tonight, when I really just wanted to be watching the footwork over at Arthur Ashe stadium. But some of these couples made me totally forget I was missing the U.S. Open. Big Poppa's parting words put these competitions back into perspective: "There's so much tragedy in the world, at least I have a home to go back to." So let's get on with it:
Melissa and Artem: Artem's chest almost distracted from the fact that little Melissa did most of the work and rocked that pop routine. Then they both finally showed us what the quickstep is supposed to look like, and the Enrique Iglesias look-alike made us think he was Fred Astaire.
Kamilah and Nick: Sex bomb Kamilah was made for the tango. Nick was downright athletic in the pop dance. He'd totally beat Blake in a dance-off. (Um, why did Mia's puppy suddenly make a guest appearance?)
Melody and Ryan: Couldn't agree with Mia more: enough of Melody and that silly leg move where she shows us her crotch; she can do better! Ryan, meanwhile, showed that he's got no training beyond his (incredible) break moves, and he knows his minutes on the stage are numbered.
Jamile and Destini: Jamile's fourth time doing ballroom and second doing the impossible quickstep! The cards were stacked against them, even though that poppin'-and-lockin' second dance would have landed them a job on a video tomorrow. (And maybe it did?) After her solo, Destini's raw anger was kind of scary.
Ashle and Blake: I have a question for any ballroom experts out there: How was that samba? I didn't see a single shake of the hip. I'd like to see that lyrical dance again to something that doesn't include the words "Richard" and "Marx." But whatever, the judges are right, these are the dancers to beat.