At a certain point, the Seahawks' domination felt almost cruel. But this is football. The people on the field suffer long-term brain damage. The game is ruthless.
And thankfully, the Broncos gained some dignity in the third quarter by scoring their only touchdown, therefore avoiding becoming the first shutout in Super Bowl history.
Maybe it was all Joe Namath's fault. The fur coat-clad legend started the game by flubbing the coin toss. Did he curse us for mocking him with three and a half hours of the least exciting game of all time? We'll never know (but maybe).
At least the halftime show was energetic. Bruno Mars forwent halftime tradition and gave us a wholesome performance that may not generate as much buzz as a nip slip or middle finger, but was at least solidly entertaining.
Mars kicked off the family-friendly set with a choir of children singing part of his hit "Billionaire," before he launched into an epic drum solo. He then sang "Locked Out of Heaven," before moving onto "Treasure" and "Runaway Baby," all the while moving his feet faster than it took us to lose all hope for the Broncos. Basically, Bruno's one of those penguins from Happy Feet in a gold lame blazer and we aren't complaining.
The performance quickly shifted gears though, when Bruno was joined by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (who haven't aged a day in their seemingly immortal lives). Anthony Kiedis killed "Give It Away" in his signature jorts and no shirt combo, while sporting some seriously spiffed out tights underneath. But all too soon they were gone.
Then it was time to get serious. Bruno closed out the performance with "Just the Way You Are," dedicated by people in the military to their loved ones. Though, the super-imposed fireworks overdid the sentimentality just a tad.
What did you think of the Super Bowl and halftime show?