The American Music Awards
All right, who had Justin Timberlake and Fleetwood Mac in your annual American Music Awards office pool? Huh? Yeah, you're gloating proudly today, aren't ya? But whoever bet that Macy Gray would ramble on about how "p----d off" she was that she didn't get nominated is surely cleaning up right now. Anyway, here are some other noteworthy moments:
Lisa's brief stint as class president brings out the worst in the administration as well as a cameo from documentary dude, Michael Moore, who seems slimmer as an animated character. Principal Skinner was as surprised as anyone when Lisa's heart-tugging song helped her win the election, "Wow, she even beat perennial write-in candidate 'Skinner sucks!' " And did you see the subtly subversive picket sign in the background as the students protested outside their school? "Flunk Me? Flunk You!"
Thanks to the searing heat of "The Cornballer," a Bluth family invention, we saw how sometimes it's funnier to see a stream of rage-filled obscenities bleeped out, because you're probably imagining something far worse than what was actually said. You sickos.
Saturday Night Live
Alec Baldwin commemorated his 11th SNL hosting gig by squeezing Amy Poehler's breasts during the skit in which he played a perverted plastic surgeon. (After an unexpectedly flattering photo of Baldwin was shown right before a commercial break, my friend Delaina commented, "When was that picture taken, 20 years ago?") Also, despite the clearly visible wires, I had to laugh as the Falconer's pet bird squawked happily while playing the slot machine, doing cocaine and having a threesome with Baldwin and a sweet old lady.
Joan of Arcadia
When Joan screwed up God's initial assignment to get Adam out of the art show, he offered some thought-provoking perspective: "What are you going to do now? That's what I'm all about, your next chance to do the right thing." It's hard to be discouraged after hearing advice like that.
From Katie Couric's in-depth interview with Tom Cruise, it seems clear that the braces he had to wear recently did indeed help straighten out his big, white choppers. Hopefully, he's wearing his retainer, because if not, there goes all that progress. Trust me.
Only on TV would such a disparate group of Thanksgiving orphans spend turkey day together, including, as Kate (Alicia Silverstone) so efficiently described her client, "multi-platinum selling, hip-hop recording artist and accused kidnapper Master Z." See, even rappers who abduct their own kids in the middle of a custody battle like pie.
Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Andrew W.K. energetically sang (and sweated) a song from his new CD, The Wolf. You know, I'm still getting used to actually recognizing the musical guests on Conan. Years ago, he hosted ridiculously obscure bands like The Pretty Pretty Peacocks. (Okay, that's a fictional band name made up by me and a friend a couple of years ago, because there's no way in hell I'm gonna remember any of the real bands. Not surprisingly, that purposely lame moniker is still up for grabs if anyone wants it.)
Late Show With David Letterman
Dave showed that he's still wearing the hospital bracelet from when his son was born two weeks ago. He jokingly remarked, "Nobody called to tell me I can take it off." There was no follow-up bit with it, so I'm inclined to believe that this was his real wristband. It's nice to see a cranky guy like Letterman acting so sincerely sentimental. Oh, and then he read off the "Top Ten Good Things About Finding a Condom In Your Clam Chowder."