You know, I think Marshall is the only main character in this show who didn't consider premeditated murder this year, and of course the poor guy gets shot in the first few minutes of the season finale. Just his rotten luck. Vaughn almost kills Lauren, but his love for Sydney sways him unfortunately, and he sways into the path of a rather sharp knife wielded by Sydney's scheming aunt (Isabella Rossellini). With Vaughn in the hospital, Ms. Bristow takes off for Palermo after Lauren, and somehow he makes it there just few moments later even though his lung has just been punctured. (The "Are-You-Kiddin'-Me?" award is a toss-up between that medical miracle and those perfect disguises used by Lauren and Syd.) Nevertheless, seeing that blond witch get pummeled and then eventually shot was rather satisfying. And hey, who wouldn't want their last words to be the numbers on a box in a bank vault? As for the last scene, it seems that the question is what exactly was Jack's big-picture agenda for his daughter? Whatever the answer eventually is, I'm betting that Father's Day is going to be a little awkward this year.
I think even kitty cats will be embarrassed to go to this movie.
And there goes poor, conflicted, long-finger-nailed Adriana (Drea de Matteo). What a heart-sinking moment that was when she finally realized that she had been betrayed by the so-called love of her life and was about to become a very dead sacrificial lamb. In many ways this has certainly been Christopher's season for being a total, heartless bastard, anyway. Putting aside that despicable character for a moment, Michael Imperioli's expressions during Adriana's painful confession and his time at the gas station were compelling and said so much in such a condensed way.
Primetime Thursday commercial
In a gripping promo, we are enticed to watch as "Primetime takes you into the new world of "pornography." Yeah, it's the May sweeps ratings period, and it's just not subtle.
There was something going on about Mr. Burns trying to rehabilitate his image by buying all of Springfield's media outlets while Lisa was starting her own small newspaper, complete with a staff that included her brother. I mention that only as a set-up for this sweet piece of dialogue that parodied the typical newsroom exchange between Superman's Jimmy Olsen and Perry White.
Lisa: "Don't call me 'Chief'!"
Bart: "Sure thing, jerk."
Lisa: "Chief is fine."
David Alan Grier and Fred Willard guest starred for the season finale. They both appeared in "Real ****ing Talk with Dollar Bill Montgomery" (their asterisks, not mine), which is known for its bleep-worthy language. This time they cleaned it up a bit though, and used words like "motherhugger" and "fudgicle." In between the swearing, the panel argued about who should win a Tony. Tony Soprano was mentioned, but eventually Dollar Bill put his foot down and said it should be Toni Braxton. What, no Fat Tony from The Simpsons?
31st Annual Daytime Emmy Awards
If you want tons of comprehensive soap-related stuff, click here. For a more random round-up, just drop your eyes to the next line:
Joan of Arcadia
I'm not sure how I feel about this episode. (Although, I am sure that Amber Tamblyn deserves an Emmy nomination for all those wacky/surreal/emotional moments she's pulled off this season). When Joan discovers that she has Lyme disease she cries out, "I was sick?! It was never real?! I've always been sick?!" She feels let down, and without some further resolution, I imagine the fans of this show may have felt the same way. This would have been an interesting wrinkle for a two-part episode in February or something, but for those just catching up with this show in reruns, it may make it a bit tough to accept that the pre-established reality may be fake. (Unlikely, yes, but it is still a small hurdle.) Regardless, I'll miss Joan et al. over the summer. That's easy to believe.