SUNDAY

Alias
You know, I think Marshall is the only main character in this show who didn't consider premeditated murder this year, and of course the poor guy gets shot in the first few minutes of the season finale. Just his rotten luck. Vaughn almost kills Lauren, but his love for Sydney sways him — unfortunately, and he sways into the path of a rather sharp knife wielded by Sydney's scheming aunt (Isabella Rossellini). With Vaughn in the hospital, Ms. Bristow takes off for Palermo after Lauren, and somehow he makes it there just few moments later even though his lung has just been punctured. (The "Are-You-Kiddin'-Me?" award is a toss-up between that medical miracle and those perfect disguises used by Lauren and Syd.) Nevertheless, seeing that blond witch get pummeled and then eventually shot was rather satisfying. And hey, who wouldn't want their last words to be the numbers on a box in a bank vault? As for the last scene, it seems that the question is what exactly was Jack's big-picture agenda for his daughter? Whatever the answer eventually is, I'm betting that Father's Day is going to be a little awkward this year.

Catwoman commercial
I think even kitty cats will be embarrassed to go to this movie.

The Sopranos
And there goes poor, conflicted, long-finger-nailed Adriana (Drea de Matteo). What a heart-sinking moment that was when she finally realized that she had been betrayed by the so-called love of her life and was about to become a very dead sacrificial lamb. In many ways this has certainly been Christopher's season — for being a total, heartless bastard, anyway. Putting aside that despicable character for a moment, Michael Imperioli's expressions during Adriana's painful confession and his time at the gas station were compelling and said so much in such a condensed way.

As AJ remarked, seeing Tony and Carmela together was "f----n' weird." Between that awkward adjustment and telling off Johnny Sack (regarding Tony B.), I thought the big guy's head was going to crack wide open from the sheer pressure of it all. If nothing else, I expected him to at least faint or something. Oh, and I totally believe, as he insisted, that he won't let his middle-age issues "intrude" on their marriage anymore. Yeah, he'll just be more careful in the future not to get caught, that's all. Carmela, whattaya doin' (besides, it seems, taking extra-strength hair-growing pills of some kind)?

Primetime Thursday commercial
In a gripping promo, we are enticed to watch as "Primetime takes you into the new world of "pornography." Yeah, it's the May sweeps ratings period, and it's just not subtle.

The Simpsons
There was something going on about Mr. Burns trying to rehabilitate his image by buying all of Springfield's media outlets while Lisa was starting her own small newspaper, complete with a staff that included her brother. I mention that only as a set-up for this sweet piece of dialogue that parodied the typical newsroom exchange between Superman's Jimmy Olsen and Perry White.
Lisa: "Don't call me 'Chief'!"
Bart: "Sure thing, jerk."
Lisa: "Chief is fine."

SATURDAY

MADtv
David Alan Grier and Fred Willard guest starred for the season finale. They both appeared in "Real ****ing Talk with Dollar Bill Montgomery" (their asterisks, not mine), which is known for its bleep-worthy language. This time they cleaned it up a bit though, and used words like "motherhugger" and "fudgicle." In between the swearing, the panel argued about who should win a Tony. Tony Soprano was mentioned, but eventually Dollar Bill put his foot down and said it should be Toni Braxton. What, no Fat Tony from The Simpsons?

FRIDAY

31st Annual Daytime Emmy Awards
If you want tons of comprehensive soap-related stuff, click here. For a more random round-up, just drop your eyes to the next line:

  • The coolest intro of the evening came from host Vanessa Marcil (Las Vegas, and formerly of General Hospital) when she said "Here's my ex-boyfriend and his onscreen girlfriend: From General Hospital, Tyler Christopher and Natalia Livingston!"
  • For the Sesame Street tribute we had Al Roker singing with Big Bird; Alex Trebek feeding Cookie Monster; Jane Pauley paired up with Zoe; Lorenzo Lamas with some blue, furry thing I couldn't identify; Meredith Vieira making Oscar less of a grouch; Emeril Lagasse cookin' with Elmo; and Drake Hogestyn crooning with the Count.
  • The Sesame Street clip package included Larry King on his own set interviewing "the 23rd letter of the alphabet, W," who casually greeted the suspender-wearing host with "Hey, hello Larry. How're doin'?" (Trust me, it's funny when you see a personified "W" making small talk.)
  • For something like Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Academy has a category called "Special Class Special." Kinda clunky. How about next year they just replace this redundant title with the more honest "Shows That We Couldn't Shoehorn Into Other Categories But Felt Guilty Not Including"?
  • While Ellen DeGeneres and her staff took home the Outstanding Talk Show trophy, Wayne Brady, whose program has been canceled, won for Outstanding Talk Show Host. Even though Brady wasn't there, I think I still heard him yelling a very satisfied, "Ha!"
  • Presenter and Soap Talk host Ty Treadway managed to be both super sweet and strangely inappropriate with just one statement: "I just want to say something to my beautiful wife, Monica, who just informed me before the show that I'm going to be a daddy for the first time: I love you, baby! I love you! What a relief, I thought she was just putting on weight!" Way to go, Ty, you dummy.

    Joan of Arcadia
    I'm not sure how I feel about this episode. (Although, I am sure that Amber Tamblyn deserves an Emmy nomination for all those wacky/surreal/emotional moments she's pulled off this season). When Joan discovers that she has Lyme disease she cries out, "I was sick?! It was never real?! I've always been sick?!" She feels let down, and without some further resolution, I imagine the fans of this show may have felt the same way. This would have been an interesting wrinkle for a two-part episode in February or something, but for those just catching up with this show in reruns, it may make it a bit tough to accept that the pre-established reality may be fake. (Unlikely, yes, but it is still a small hurdle.) Regardless, I'll miss Joan et al. over the summer. That's easy to believe.