Question: After your stint on Scrubs airs tomorrow night, you're bound to be buried in e-mails of praise, so I figure I'll get a jump on things now and tell you how awesome you were.
Answer: You're not going to believe this, but they changed the frakkin' date on me at the last minute! My episode has been pushed back a week, and will now air on Feb. 8. Please reschedule your viewing parties accordingly. Why the 11th-hour switcheroo? NBC isn't talking, but a Scrubs source insists that despite what you may've read in a certain tabloid it wasn't because Bill Lawrence had to go back and reshoot my part with a more "experienced and better-looking" actor. Whoever started that hateful rumor is clearly just jealous of me and my recently attained SAG eligibility.