Don't Talk to Steve Harvey, Don't Try to Walk With Him, Don't Look Him In His Eyes

Your boss may be a jerk, but at least you don't work for Steve Harvey.

Chicago media blogger Robert Feder obtained a memo from the talk show host to the staff of his eponymous show, which ends production in Chicago today (the reworked sixth season will start taping in Los Angeles this fall and will just be called Steve).

Harvey sent the email at the start of production on the fifth season, and it set some rules for how employees should talk to their boss -- which is basically not at all. Steve Harvey is tired of all these people bothering him about stuff, and he wants to be left alone.

Sorry to Ruin Little Big Shots for You, But Steve Harvey Is Doing a Super Weird Bill Cosby Impression

Take a deep breath, this is going to get intense. Ready? Let's go.

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back.
I'd like you all to review and adhere to the following notes and rules for Season 5 of my talk show.
There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE.
Do not come to my dressing room unless invited.
Do not open my dressing room door. IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED.
My security team will stop everyone from standing at my door who have the intent to see or speak to me.
I want all the ambushing to stop now. That includes TV staff.
You must schedule an appointment.
I have been taken advantage of by my lenient policy in the past. This ends now. NO MORE.
Do not approach me while I'm in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Either knock or use the doorbell.
I am seeking more free time for me throughout the day.
Do not wait in any hallway to speak to me. I hate being ambushed. Please make an appointment.
I promise you I will not entertain you in the hallway, and do not attempt to walk with me.
If you're reading this, yes, I mean you.
Everyone, do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.
Thank you all,
Steve Harvey

Come on, Steve Harvey's employees! Don't you care about your boss' personal life and enjoyment? Let Steve Harvey live! He needs that time in his makeup chair to think of racist jokes!

Variety sources think this memo may have leaked by a former staffer who didn't get brought along on the move to Los Angeles, which sounds like a blessing, actually.

Harvey confirmed the memo's veracity in an interview with ET, saying that people were taking advantage of his open-door policy with excessive demands on his time. "I just didn't want to be in this prison anymore where I had to be in this little room, scared to go out and take a breath of fresh air without somebody approaching me, so I wrote the letter," he said.

"I don't apologize about the letter, but it's kind of crazy what people who took this thing and ran, man," he added, though he admits he could have handled it better.

Social media, of course, is having a field day with the note. If it wasn't from Harvey, it would just be evidence of a hostile work environment, but Steve Harvey is a blowhard who once announced the wrong winner of the Miss Universe pageant, which makes this kind of pomposity absurd.

Look, Steve Harvey is very busy and his time is valuable, and it must be draining to have people coming to with problems to solve all the time, especially when you're trying to do something else. But that's part of being the boss. And Harvey certainly could have found a way to outline his new way of doing business without saying "IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED."