If you ask us, only one of the guests of Fox's wanton wonderland, Paradise Hotel, has never made an ass of himself — and he's a monkey! Yes, even as odd bird Tom's stuffed traveling companion, Smokey, watched his pulchritudinous playmates hook up and strip down, he himself didn't go ape... or did he? Perhaps a little gorilla warfare — in the form of Seven Silly Questions — will flush out his inner party animal.

TV Guide Online: How aggravated were you that you got to visit a singles' mecca, but had to let Tom tag along? Didn't he get in the way of your game?
Smokey:
Somebody has to take one for the team sometimes. We're a pimp duo.

TVGO: In several episodes, we didn't see you at all. Were you under the covers while Charla was hiding out in bed?
Smokey:
No. Most of my time was taken up by Amanda, the host. She wouldn't leave me alone! I was complaining.

TVGO: Gee. You must have had nightmares in which she told you, "...and now you must leave Paradise Hotel forever."
Smokey:
Absolutely not, because I would always go straight to her hotel afterwards.

TVGO: For a monkey, you're quite a dawg. Now then, if Amanda got on your nerves, loca Toni must have really driven you crazy. Was it scary when she went on a rampage?
Smokey:
No. She made me feel right at home with all the crazy animals.

TVGO: I understand. You're afraid to speak freely — she might read this. Moving on, were you surprised when, after you were given an official Paradise Hotel guest necklace, you still weren't invited to participate in the roommate selection ceremonies?
Smokey:
Damn right... only because the necklace was cheap and fake.

TVGO: Do you share Tom's fondness for dressing in women's clothing?
Smokey:
No, I prefer fur.

TVGO: Since you're done taping, have you been fielding a lot of calls from talent brokers who want to rep you?
Smokey:
I am taking Hollywood by storm! Everybody wants a piece of my banana.

(As much as we hate to see it go, Paradise Hotel is closing up shop — next Tuesday at 8 pm/ET, with a two-hour climax that we're sure will be full of nasty surprises.)