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RUSH, RUSH TO JUDGMENT

Los Angeles prosecutors are straight up now telling Paula Abdul, "You're busted, beyotch!" Earlier today, the city attorney filed one count of criminal hit-and-run charges against the American Idol train wreck, whose Mercedes side-swiped another car in December, then sped away without stopping. The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum punishment of six months in jail, a $1000 fine and a lifetime ban on clapping like a seal.

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Los Angeles prosecutors are straight up now telling Paula Abdul, "You're busted, beyotch!" Earlier today, the city attorney filed one count of criminal hit-and-run charges against the American Idol train wreck, whose Mercedes side-swiped another car in December, then sped away without stopping. The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum punishment of six months in jail, a $1000 fine and a lifetime ban on clapping like a seal.