Simon just can't quit Alex... or shoot her.
On Sunday's Quantico, Alex (Priyanka Chopra) takes a road trip to snowy Holland, Vt., where Simon (Tate Ellington) is being all Dexter-like in a cabin, in between hunting for deer and contemplating shooting himself in the mouth. She wants him to rejoin Team Alex now that Natalie (Anabella Acosta) is dead — and even tells him she's dead and about the caller. Simon won't hear any of it because he blames his guilt on Alex for convincing him to let go of the trigger that set off the bomb at the command center. And now he wants to shoot her, but Alex calls his bluff. "I think you can, but you won't because if you wanted to kill me, you would've pulled that trigger already. Just like you would've done to yourself," she says. "You don't want a way out. You want a way back. Like it or not, that's me."
That's enough for Simon to burn down the cabin and come a-knockin' at Alex's to work with her again. Did I call this or did I not call this? Simex's happy reunion is ruined when the terrorist calls Alex, presumably with her next task. Before she answers, Simon hooks up a USB cord to the phone. "I got a plan," he says.
Here's my question. The whole caller thing is ridiculous, but let's go with it. The caller is obviously keeping tabs on Alex and has threatened her to keep in line or all her pals will die. OK. But if Alex is totally cool telling Simon about the caller and that Natalie's dead, why didn't she tell Ryan (Jake McLaughlin) last week when she was completely losing her mind or, you know, the freakin' FBI? Is she not worried about the repercussions of telling and working with Simon? Is Simon some special exemption because he's a shamed failed FBI trainee? Was she not worried about the caller tracking her in Vermont? Will anything Alex do ever make sense?!
Probably not, given her training. While Simon returned to Team Alex, two people appear to be on their way out of Quantico in the past. Hoping to get the full story on Chicago for Drew (Lenny Platt), Alex asks Liam (Josh Hopkins) straight-up what happened. He tells her the FBI was working a militia group and he had the genius idea to sell them the FBI's AR15 rifles as a way in. It went awry when an informant tipped off the group, which fled with the weapons. Ryan took the fall for the gun sale because Liam couldn't have another blemish on his record after Omaha. Again, Agent of the Century here!
Alex tells Drew all this right before he's called to the mock trial stand for the assignment of the week, which is where he chooses to unload on Liam. His girlfriend, Alicia, was one of two innocent bystanders who died during an armed robbery on the L train. What was the perp using? An AR15. Liam later kicks Drew out of Quantico before chastising Alex for playing him like that. "You only cared when you thought you could prove I was bad, so you could be off the hook for sleeping with me," he screams. Say it a little louder, Liam, so everyone can hear you. Miranda (Aunjanue Ellis) hears it and demands a letter of resignation from him in the morning. Raise your hand if you think both are staying. <waves>
Elsewhere in the episode:
- As if we need any more proof that these people are terrible agents, apparently no one has heard of discretion. Olsen (Jay Armstrong Johnson) overhears Caleb (Graham Rogers) making a call as Mark Raymond and then follows him to an unfinished dorm where Caleb keeps his Mark Raymond necessities. "Mr. Keller, I have the money that you requested. I'd like the opportunity to bring it by in person," Caleb-as-Mark says over Skype. "It's not money. It's a commitment to reach the highest levels of fulfillment," Mr. Keller responds, co-opting an L. Ron Hubbard line probably. Olsen later confronts Caleb about his other identity, but he threatens him to keep quiet.
- That money Mark is talking about? Oh, it's the $5 million Shelby (Johanna Braddy) was scammed out of to save her fake sister Samar from a fake kidnapping. Caleb meets with Samar, who had wired him the money and slides over an envelope to him. "You'll do what you promised?" she asks. Since they're sitting in a brightly lit, glass-paneled restaurant, Olsen is able to take some great photos of them on his phone from his car! Super-sly, guys, super-sly.
- In the past, Nimah (Yasmine Al Massri) disguises herself as Raina to go into that house Raina's been visiting, where she finds a closet full of weapons. Raina reveals that that is the cell that took Charlie (J. Mallory McCree) and she's been working the group on Miranda's orders. Nimah tells Ryan in the future that she no longer talks to Raina, who's back in Michigan, but she tracks her cell phone to know she's safe, which is how they locate Alex in Vermont to bring her back. While on their way to Vermont, Nimah tells Ryan that she and Miranda had a falling-out because Raina got too close to Hamza during their time in the terrorist cell, but Miranda disagreed. Poor Nimah. It must be so hard not to be the favorite twin.
- After Iris (Li Jun Li) reads Shelby to filth about her privilege and idealism after they butted heads on the assignment, Shelby tells Iris about the long con Samar pulled on her. Iris reciprocates by telling her about her mother's sister who wouldn't leave Shanghai with their family and that she's content not knowing what happened to her. If you feel like you saw this already, you have. It's basically the same "let's tell each other our family secrets" heart-to-heart Shelby and Alex had in the fall.
- No one besides Alex and Simon knows Natalie is dead. Miranda tells Ryan and Nimah that she was notified that Natalie requested an emergency leave of absence.
- No one's heard from Caleb in months in the future. Where is he?
- Mark Raymond's computer avatar is a penguin. I am stunned it's not #whitehuskies.
- Which beard is best?
Quantico airs Sundays at 10/9c on ABC.