Nicky Hilton by Dimitrios Kambouris/ Nicky Hilton by Dimitrios Kambouris/

Playing the drama for all it's worth, Nicky Hilton, her mom tells People, left her Sunday visit "in hysterics" - because, I dunno, Par tore into her for borrowing her DVF while she's in the clink? Oops, Nicky clarifies that seeing sis endure squalid conditions is "like right out of the movies" ( House of Wax, especially). "The glass partition, the orange jumpsuit, everything."

The view is rosier from the other side of the bars, though, as Paris' fellow jailbirds bask in the bonus booty that comes with a celebrity con. Citing double helpings of bologna, juice and blankets, one inmate tells the New York Daily News, "We feel like we are in the Hilton hotel" - except that the turn-down service sometimes involves a sock full of pennies.