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UNDER LOCH AND KEY

If the movie version of the Steve Alten page-turner The Loch is half this good, it's gonna be awesome. Two kids vacationing in the U.K. recently discovered a half-eaten deer — and one of its attacker's teeth! The fang was promptly confiscated, and now the cops refuse to give it back. Why? "The Highland Authority and the locals derive their income from tourism," the author explains to TVGuide.com, "and they have spent great deals of money promoting Nessie as a 'friendly Plesiosaur' [when actually she] is an amphibious predatory fish. If tourists knew this, they wouldn't flock to see the monster." Well, I might. But I'd draw the line at petting it.

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If the movie version of the Steve Alten page-turner The Loch is half this good, it's gonna be awesome. Two kids vacationing in the U.K. recently discovered a half-eaten deer  and one of its attacker's teeth! The fang was promptly confiscated, and now the cops refuse to give it back. Why? "The Highland Authority and the locals derive their income from tourism," the author explains to TVGuide.com, "and they have spent great deals of money promoting Nessie as a 'friendly Plesiosaur' [when actually she] is an amphibious predatory fish. If tourists knew this, they wouldn't flock to see the monster." Well, I might. But I'd draw the line at petting it.