It's rare that a big deal is made over a movie poster, but if you've seen the one-sheets for John McTiernan's Rollerball remake (in theaters Feb. 8), then, like us, you must have asked yourself, "Is that a baseball bat in LL Cool J's pocket or is he just happy to see co-star Rebecca Romijn-Stamos?" Sheesh! You'd have to be blind not to notice that there's something larger-than-life skating behind the zipper of the actor-musician's leather pants.

So, what's the deal? Is it a missile? A zucchini? A submarine? "We took a picture and did nothing to it," an unnamed MGM exec insists to TV Guide Online. "If there is a protrusion in his pants, then lucky LL. We cannot take credit for anything in LL's pants. That achievement can only be claimed by LL himself, or his parents I guess."

For his part, LL is keeping out of any battle over the bulge: "All I did was put a pair of leather pants on. From what I can see, [co-star] Chris Klein's bulge was bigger."

Suddenly, Dirk Diggler doesn't seem like such a humongous talent after all...