This hypnotic episode reminded me why I'm not crazy about the Book of Revelations. As Diana said, quoting it is "never a good sign" (are you listening, James Dobson?) especially if the person doing the quoting emits killer spores from her itchy, bubbling, blistered palms. You see, bipolar 4400 Jean Lynn Baker rationalized that she was sent back from the future to "purify the human race." Now if Jean's surname were "Koresh," I wouldn't have minded that Diana plugged her, but the poor woman was simply a helpless tool used to annihilate dozens of innocent people. Even true believers weren't immune (Exhibit A: the Bible-thumpin' trucker). If I were Tom, and I ran into the clown responsible for this 4400 crap, I would like to ask him what exactly he was hoping to accomplish with stunts like these before I delivered a spear-finger thrust to his trachea. Take Kyle, whose latest flashbacks confirmed he was Collier's killer. Who do you suppose he's going to trust with that particular bit of intel? "Hey, Dad, do you have a moment? Yeah, well, I need to get something off my chest. I killed Jordan Collier. I don't know why I surreptitiously gunned him down with a sniper rifle from a rooftop, but then I'm only piecing together the details after watching the news on television. And, no, I haven't been drinking." I'm surprised steam wasn't blowing out of the poor lad's ears at that point, because his already wonky world was earlier rocked by the arrival of Alana, who introduced herself by going on about how wonderful Kyle's alternate-reality self was. In less than five minutes, she and Tom transformed Kyle into an only twin who lives in the shadow of an imaginary counterpart. Perhaps the kid should boogie over to Jean's and load up on Xanax. In Sikoris-ville, April tapped Maia's clairvoyant abilities to bet on sporting events. "Baby girl, you're my lucky charm!" glowed Natasha Gregson Wagner's delicious imp after pocketing a cool $200. Maia soon caught on to April's shenanigans and punished her avaricious auntie by tricking her into betting a priceless wedding ring on a losing team. Nyah-nyah! Diana closed the show by pulling a prank of her own by giving Nina a version of Maia's diary forged by Marco, who apparently has quite a knack for preteen girl prose.
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