Gilmore Girls Kiss her! Kiss her!...

Gilmore Girls
Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her! I've waited three long months for this moment, and now I'm shouting at my TV. Yeah, I know, Luke can't hear me (but my poor neighbors probably can!). I'm totally justified, though. Why didn't he grab Lorelai the second he accepted her proposal? Why wait for the Zima (he's right, it's totally chick beer!), the pretty lame "Here's to us!" toast (witty Lorelai couldn't do better than that?) and the gazebo in the middle of town? (OK, that part was pretty romantic.) Well, they're engaged, so I'm happy about that. Wait until Mother Gilmore hears that Lorelai was the one who popped the question, and that Luke bought her a dead grandma's old engagement ring from freaky-deaky Kirk! Scandalous! Hopefully she'll be too preoccupied fawning over Rory, who's straying further and further from her bohemian upbringing. (Not a word of protest over that insane breakfast spread or Emily's totally unnecessary Extreme Poolhouse Makeover? Mom taught her better than that!) Logan's not helping much either. The jailbird party for Rory was cute and all, but he's the only one not pushing her to go back to school. Didn't Rory say she was dropping out to find herself? But now it seems like she's doing it for him! "What kind of match would I be for you if I went running back to a life of respectability?" a tipsy Rory asks Logan. We won't answer that one, sweetie. Let's hope it doesn't take you too long to figure it out.  Robin Honig

House
OK, how disturbing was that MRI scene? Can you imagine having the highly metallic ink from your tattoos extracted from your body with a giant magnet? Ouch. If I were Clarence, the death-row inmate played by the delicious LL Cool J, I think I would have passed on the scan. I mean, you're on death row. Why put yourself through that torture when your time is drawing nigh? Maybe it's me. Clarence went ahead with the MRI, and almost immediately he was screaming bloody murder from the pain. Would it be inappropriate for me to say, "I told you so"? Maybe it's a good thing. Dr. House found the problem through the scan and we ladies who love cool James got yet another scene of the rapper-turned-actor writhing about with only the strategically placed fig leaf of a bed sheet to cover his naughty bits.

Speaking of naughty, that Gregory has done a bad thing. He lied to Stacy the ex-girlfriend and, dare I say, current love of his life and now Stacy's in hot water with Cuddy. Dr. Wilson kindly pointed out that House's behavior wouldn't score points with Stacy. She's all about trust and truth, and House isn't very trusting or truthful. How will House ever get Stacy to leave her husband if she can't trust him? Good question. One thing's for sure: Stacy's presence invigorates House as much as it unsettles him. By her side House is at times juvenile (nothing new there), indignant and repentant. By his side, I suspect Stacy could be the same.  Rhoda Charles

Rescue Me
"I just hope he doesn't fall off the wagon," Johnny says of Tommy at the reception after Connor's funeral. "I wouldn't blame the poor bastard if he drove the wagon right through the liquor-store window and drank the entire inventory," replies Uncle Teddy. And honestly, I wouldn't blame any of us watching, either. I mean, I love this show, but I think I'm going to need a bottle of something good by my side just to make it through the next hour. Luckily, Sean and Mike are here to provide some comic relief as they try to comfort Tommy's daughter, Katie, telling the little girl her brother's now in heaven. Until she drops the bomb that there is no heaven or God, that human beings made those things up to feel special because we're scared and need to believe something else is watching over us, and that we "come from dirt and go back into the dirt." Smack: The well-meaning dolts run face-first into a brick wall of metaphysics, solidly erected in front of them by a child. Owie.

There's a certain amount of latitude you have to give the grieving, but Sheila getting in Janet's face to tell her she has a good man, doesn't know it and never has? Uh, this woman just lost her son, and you were having an affair with that good man, so step back, hon. Back to the smiles, as Sean fleshes out his vision of Paradise, where you can play all the video games you want and the mere thought of Mountain Dew fills your mouth with it. (Note to those of you who don't watch this show: Sean's a grown man in theory and stuff like this is why we love him.) But overall, I wish the Rescue Me folks would dial back on the pathos just a bit; they've been hosing us down with it these past couple weeks, and aren't letting up as the season ends. Tommy schemes with his dad and Uncle Teddy to shoot the drunk driver who killed his son; Mick's revealed as the AA spy (even though I agree with him when he explains why he did it); Janet's leaving again; the chief drops his wife off at a home in a heartbreaking scene (her "Goodbye, Jerry" went right through me); Laura transfers out of the house; Lou gets ripped off for thousands by Candy and then Tommy arrives too late to stop Uncle Teddy from firing the gun. Jeez... think it's too early to pick up a case or two for next season?  Michael Peck