My Name Is Earl Poor Darnell....

My Name Is Earl
Poor Darnell. It seems the root of his problem, that is, the reason he's so easily taken in by Joy, is that he thinks a "vixen" is nothing more than one of Santa's reindeer. Then again, Earl's not much better off. It's not entirely his fault he ruined Joy's wedding  what did she think he'd do when left on his own on his birthday and specifically not invited to the happy event? Oh, the glorious karma of that soccer ball to her face! And all Earl ever wanted was to be the Bruce to her Demi and Crab Man's Ashton. But enough about plot, let's review the society-page-worthy details of Joy's two weddings. Wedding No. 1 featured: the menu option of Chicken McNuggets; a gift registry at the local liquor store (come to think of it, that one's genius); the bride's hairstyle courtesy of the ladies'-room hand dryer; a wedding processional hummed by D.J. Dave (paid with a $20 gift certificate for Patty the Daytime Hooker) and dance music provided by Joy's mix tape recorded from the radio. With Earl as a wedding planner, things got fancier for No. 2: centerpieces made from 2-liter bottles; a secondhand wedding dress with lining so Joy could wear it without underwear (covering a stain on the shoulder with her bedazzled initials); a soundtrack provided by Monsters of Rap and Monsters of Rock CDs (the latter featuring an extended version of Warrant's "Cherry Pie"); matching paper plates and napkins that read "Party Your Ass Off" and a multitiered wedding cake made from an arrangement of snack cakes. Tacky as it sounds, that second one worked pretty well. Earl's a regular Martha Stewart! And in the end, I have to agree with Joy's moral logic how do we know Demi and Bruce don't get it on once in a while without telling Ashton?