Dancing's Derek Hough: I Didn't Want to Let Bindi Down

Hey guys!

Thanks for your votes and messages!

Last week was such a difficult week, so I'm really happy to get through it. You saw a lot of grumpy Derek, which was pretty accurate! I was actually sick last week. I could barely talk and my glands were so swollen. A lot of the time, I felt such a block. Everything for me is based on feeling. If I'm not feeling physically good, I don't like anything I come up with. It's one thing to learn something, but to create something when you're sick is a really difficult thing to do. And of course traveling to New York was a lot. But Bindi was wonderful and so positive, and everything turned out really well. I'm really proud of the dances and how it all came together.

A lot of the stress came from not wanting to let Bindi down. I didn't wanna drop the ball and lose this momentum for her. What happens then is you start doubting yourself and asking yourself, "Am I good enough?" Those things happen when you feel weak. It was one of those things where we pushed through and it paid off. I was really happy with our Viennese waltz and being able to dance to "Roses and Violets." Since the dance, the song has been doing well, so I'm really happy for Mark and his girlfriend.

The "All that Jazz" number was so much fun. I died when Mark said "KTVD" -- Kill the Vibe Derek. That was so funny! When we have to get things done in a limited amount of time, I tend to get serious, like, "Guys, we have to do this. We have to do this. There's no time for messing around." So I think they were all like, "Oh, this is a side of Derek we haven't seen," which was Get Things Done Derek. I probably was not a lot of fun to be around then; I wouldn't want to hang out with me! I was just kind of nervous. I was nervous about the girls dancing on their own, but they did an awesome job. We didn't get the troupe until Saturday and we only had two hours with them. I had it in my mind what I wanted to do and we were able to do it, and it turned out great.

I can't complain too much about my week. Tamar's was far worse. We didn't really know what was going on Monday night. It all just kind of happened and no one knew if she was gonna come back or be able to dance until she did. It was pretty wild. And now she's out. Two people have had to pull out this season due to blood clots. That's crazy. But health is always more important. I admire Tamar's perseverance and dedication, but it's not worth it at the risk of your health. You need your health first before you can do anything.

I don't know what the plan is now that Tamar's out. We do have another challenge for us because of her withdrawal. We have to do something else to fill up the extra time where Tamar would've been dancing. They've told us, but I don't know if I can go into the details yet.

I can tell you we are dancing a salsa. We have a fun song that totally embodies Bindi. The second one is a jazz trio that's much more artistic. I'm trying things I personally haven't tried before. We're doing it with Mark, but I don't know if that's gonna happen anymore because he hurt his foot. He got glass or something in it. Between him and me, it hasn't been a good two seasons for feet! So we'll see if he can still do it with us. That routine in my mind looks really good. The story is about how we isolate ourselves and we get imprisoned by our own issues and how we're all connected and we're bonded together. So we're gonna use a rope and at the end of the rope is a light bulb. We're gonna use this rope to move us around. Now I have to see if it's possible to do it, so we'll see!

Thanks for reading! See you Monday!

Derek