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Sunday

Arrested Development
Quote of the weekend: "That is quite a basket you've got there, Michael." — Tobias

Aaah, you had to be there. Sight gag. But speaking of sight gags, nobody does 'em better than Martin Short, whose fake Uncle Jack was a classic.

So... why aren't more people watching this? I'm not yelling at you guys, since if you're reading this, you probably tuned in. But tell your friends to, too, 'cause this show's too good to let die without a fight. Please?

Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Looking at the blood-covered bottle, I can't help but wonder: Is real blood that bright red? Aside from bloody noses from fights as a kid, I've never seen that much when it's fresh — and I'm damn happy about that, too.

"Ungrateful, biscuit-eating sonuvabitch." — Chocolate Jimmy's mom, to her son

I have no real reason for highlighting that. It's just the funniest thing anyone's called anyone else this weekend.

But welcome, Mr. Big. Get used to Chris Noth's Logan; you'll be seeing him at least half of the time from now on.

Desperate Housewives
What do you mean Lynette "suffered through art made in kindergarten"? Are you saying my mom didn't enjoy my drawings with the purple, triangular sun in the corner? I thought they were positively bold.

"You'd settle for that — a life filled with repression and denial?" asks Bree's therapist. What do you mean "settle," Doc? That's the goal. It's the American way! (And does anyone doubt that Bree will be a gold-medal dom once she takes the plunge, by the way?)

OK, commercial break. Uh... the Revlon people do realize that anyone caught using the word "fabulash" in everyday life deserves an instant wedgie, right?

And is it me, or is Mike bleeding in exactly the same spot as Robert Redford in The Natural? So all Susan has to do is stand up with the sun behind her at the right moment and everything's gonna be just fine.

Crossing Jordan
So how do we know Jordan and Woody are headed to Los Angeles? Well, if the shots of the Hollywood Walk of Fame don't clue you in — and Hollywood recently tried to secede from L.A., by the way — then playing X's "Los Angeles" should hit you over the head with it. (I like that song. Please don't use it to condescend.)

And the biggest mystery this week is how Sandra Bernhard could possibly be more out of place. Remember when she was in stuff where she really fit, and didn't seem like she was just play-acting for a check?

Saturday

Lackawanna Blues
How many straight razors does Pauline (Macy Gray) carry on her, and where does she keep them?

And wow — can S. Epatha Merkerson light up the screen, or what?

A nice piece of work, this. Sitting in front of the screen, you can smell and taste the food right along with these people, love and hate with them, get caught up in their lunacy and even feel the sex. (Well, maybe I'm the only one going that far — I take my job very seriously, you understand.)

Sure, it's a little messy in places and forced in others, and it loses its focus from time to time. But so does life. And this is life.

Sucker Free City
And here we see the downside of competition: Two dramas packed with African-American talent and Showtime and HBO have to put them up against each other.

And I like this one, too. Quite a bit, in fact. Except they set up all those plots and subplots and then the thing just ends? Is this a pilot for a series Showtime hasn't announced yet? Or one they killed after this was shot? I mean, again, I liked it. But if this isn't gonna be a weekly thing, then how about an actual ending?

Friday

Battlestar Galactica
Here's where the geek in me starts wondering if it makes sense for the Cylon infiltrator to strap on his explosives. Wouldn't it be better just to build the bomb into him since he's a robot anyway? (Yeah, I'm giving this too much thought — a holdover from my geeky fanboy days.)

That rooftop smackdown? I don't care if it's a robot beating a robot. Brutal.

And as for the part about the law being meant to protect the citizens rather than persecute them: Too bad there's not a bigger audience for sci-fi, huh?