The Biggest Loser
Wh-wh-what? Do my ears deceive moi? How have I not noticed until now that RuPaul sings the catchy opening theme song, "How Do I Look?" Must be 'cause I'm usually watching the beginning of Gilmore Girls (which is now airing repeats). Anyway, some fey producer behind the scenes made a fabulous musical selection. Or should I say, "Legendary."

A few more weighty thoughts:
1. So glad Maurice won the first track-meet challenge. Of course, what reality-TV contestant isn't motivated by cash? "I definitely can taste the money," Mo grins, "and it's low-cal." He's the king of feisty food sound bites, ain't he? Especially liked Mo's wisecrack about "breaking up [his] relationship with fried chicken."
2. I'm sad Andrea was voted off. She was cool. The only female players left on The Biggest LoserLisa and Kelly — act like they're competing for The Biggest Bitch. Especially that sniping, sour-faced Lisa. Can I just tell you that an excess of cellulite is the least of her unattractive qualities? Ugh. As she put it, "I have one of those personalities that you either like me or hate me." I'm guessing most folks who meet Lisa would fall in the latter category.
3. I just knew Gary would bump Lisa below the yellow line when he stepped up to the scale at the weigh-in. In fact, his 6-pound loss made him the week's biggest loser! Yes, yes, yes! And despite Ryan's insistence on Red Team loyalty, I saw his betrayal of Lisa comin' from a mile away. Thank goodness she's gone 'cause without Mo, there'd be no show.
4. I'm also grateful that Loser's male players have stopped stripping off their tank tops and flashing their man boobs at the weigh-ins. Although their yucky, shirtless "before" photos were still displayed on screen. No more, please, I beg you!

The Amazing Race 6
9:04 Somebody please tell me whassup with Adam's My Favorite Martian antennae braids in front of his head? So ridiculous. His Alvin and the Chipmunks voice isn't helping his image either. I don't know why, but I just feel so strongly that he needs to be slapped.
9:08 The Racers, especially Gus and Hera, are moved by visiting the African slave quarters. Leaving those roses behind as tokens of respect was a nice touch.
9:11 Freddy — of Kendra and Freddy — is hot. There are some hot dudes on this season, but Freddy wins my award for Racer Most Deserving of a Tongue Bath. Of course, Jon and Aaron look tasty, too.
9:12 OK, I just decided I'm having my own poll: Who do you think is the hottest Racer? E-mail me your nominations for hottest guy and girl and I'll tally 'em up and post the results in my column next week!
9:14 Did you spot the cabdriver's face when Kendra bitched about Dakar "breeding and breeding in this poverty"? Somebody needs to keep her un-PC thoughts on the DL when she's on national TV. OK?
9:16 Oooh, now Miss Hayden's p---in' everybody off at the ticket counter. She just accused Bolo of being on steroids. At least she's an equal-opportunity offender.
9:20 Hayden and Bolo chill out for a sec and give peace a chance. At least they managed to have a chuckle about the steroids thing.
9:21 Why does Jonathan — of Jonathan and Victoria — remind me so much of Liza Minnelli's creepy ex, David Gest? Does anyone else find him weird and scary? He's always screaming at his wife!
9:35 Oh snap! Bolo just called his girl Lori a "bitch." That ain't right.
9:39 Hera wouldn't let papa Gus down another one of those tempting beers. Aww... She's a killjoy.
9:40 During the sausage factory challenge, Rebecca really enjoys handling those seven-inch German links. Her ex-BF Adam appears really fond of those meaty treats, too. Hmm... No comment.
9:51 Phil advises Jonathan to talk to Victoria, who's in tears over him snarling and yelling at her for several miles. "This race is not about compassion!" he barks at her. Niiice. How much you wanna bet divorce papers were filed immediately after this race ended?
9:54 Cute grandparents Mary Jean and Don come in last. Sad, but hardly unpredictable.

Judging Amy
I haven't watched in a while, but Judge Amy's boyfriend just told her in a very chilly fashion that he's moving away — implying, without straight-up saying, that they're over. That's wrong. Unfortunately, she's home at the time, so her gavel isn't handy to whack him upside the head with. Pity.

Law & Order: SVU
Did Mariska Hargitay lighten her hair? I don't remember seeing those blond highlights in there before... For another random observation, didja notice the coed rape victim's mother was played by Cady McClain, who plays Rosanna on As the World Turns? This suds fan loves when New York soap actresses pop up on the Law & Order shows. It happens a lot!

Uncustomarily, the detectives see Medavoy wearing a very attractive striped shirt and purple tie to a crime scene. Sipowicz asks who dressed him and he responds that "it's English." Looks like some of Bill Brochtrup aka John the gay secretary's colorful style — as noted in last week's column — is rubbing off on him. By the way, John looked great in his own lavender-hued ensemble, but much as it pains me to say it, he went a little crazy with the blow-dryer this week. That's some poufy hair he's sportin'.

PS — Had to laugh when Sipowicz made John say "penis" in the context of a work conversation. These two polar opposites are my absolute favorites on the show, in case you couldn't tell by now.

PPS — Hey, that's Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman playing the junkie male hustler. Intriguing how times have changed for Chad...