Big Brother Payback is a bitch,...

Big Brother
Payback is a bitch, and tonight that beyotch is named Janelle. The busty blonde, who was crowned new HOH, got a chance to revenge the twice-ousted Kaysar by nominating Maggie and Jennifer for eviction on Saturday. I know that Janelle is probably crazy, and more than a little attitudinal, but that's what makes this show so much fun. Not to mention that I think everyone in the house excepting the remaining "sovereign" alliance underestimates her intelligence. It was nice to see Howie's unabashed excitement when he scooped Janelle up and she made her final parting comment, "Bye-bye, bitches!" Brilliant and so funny. Especially after all the dramarama in the house with angry Howie (I never noticed he was missing a finger) and drunk Janelle earlier this week. When Howie even started taunting April's dog, I have to admit that I giggled.... I feel a little wrong, but what can you do? I was initially upset that Jennifer put up my man K hey, he's pretty to look at but he did make a bad play by letting her become HOH in the first place. The immaturity on the "friendship" squad and in the house in general has made me go back to rooting for people who make me laugh. In this case, it's James, Howie and Janelle come on, her picking a catfight with Beau was priceless. I didn't think I'd be saying this after hearing Jennifer's whole "I didn't know I was lying when I said it, so it doesn't count" spiel, but I'm almost looking forward to Saturday and another chance for a big house upset and another topsy-turvy week of in-fighting. Bring it on!  Angel Cohn

Celebrity Poker Showdown
Is Bravo now reality-TV central? They've got Kathy Griffin's series, Battle of the Network Reality Stars and Being Bobby Brown. Normally home to B-listers who are real actors or some kind of actual celebrity, Bravo has become the landing place for reality-TV "stars." It's got pint-size but adorable Charla from The Amazing Race; Bachelor's Andrew Firestone; Trash  I mean Trishelle; insane-o Jonny Fairplay and Omarosa. None of them has a good handle on the game. As a poker player, I was almost in tears when Charla threw away a straight she didn't know she had. Omarosa was oblivious to the fact that she had a flush and Jonny just bet at pretty much any hand. Are these people trying to kill one of my favorite addictive shows? Anyway, Mr. Fairplay lived up to his cruel reputation by calling Charla a Lilliputian and Omarosa "Omagrossa." But at least he was self-derogatory, too, saying that he has no friends. Which, considering he makes remarks like that, is no big surprise. Omarosa pays him back with comments like, "I hear your mouth moving, but you are saying nothing." And even Charla wasn't playing his games: "I don't have any b---s, buddy. I'm a woman." And Jonny is the king of bizarre non sequiturs like "I'm like the STD you call your mom for." He's so off the wall he even had hosts Phil Gordon and Dave Foley begging for the trash talk to either stop or to at least make some sense. Though the more obnoxiously Jonny behaved, the more normal and actually funny everyone else seemed. In fact, Andrew was downright charming. Heck, I think I'd even date him if I were single. And since he was the winner tonight, I think he'll fit in well with the rest of the actual celebrities in the championship round.   AC

Being Bobby Brown
Somebody sent a feedback comment last week that read: "So Dave, I take it you don't like the show." Let me explain what a "train wreck" is. You're driving by a train accident and no matter how disastrous it appears to be, you can't help but look away. A TV train wreck is similar a disaster that is so bad, it's good. I can't help but be amazed at what has become of the Whitney Houston I admired when I was younger. I'm talking the "Greatest Love of All" Whitney. The "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" Whitney. And, of course, the "I Will Always Love You" Whitney. But maybe this is how she's always been maybe she's just hidden this side? The way Bobby acts on this show is the way I assumed he's always been. But Whitney? "It's Not Right, But It's Okay." On to the countdown

10:00 pm At long last, they're at home or at least one of their homes. This one's the main one their "country club" home in Atlanta. Whitney tries to braid Bobby's hair.
10:01 Bobby does his Rick James impersonation, per Whitney's request, but he sounds more like Yoda.
10:02 Bobby tells Whitney they're going to Dave & Buster's. Whitney says, "That's for kids," which makes Bobbi Kristina stick her tongue out at her mama. I think, "Why are they going to Dave & Buster's? I thought we were going to see them at home. I don't like this show!" Kidding.
10:03 Whitney puts a hat on that Bobby thinks looks Russian. Rushin' to Dave & Buster's, that is.
10:04 Right away there are fans as they enter. Bobby is greeted with "Can I have your autograph?" followed immediately by "Where's Whitney?"
10:06 Whitney already wants to leave so much she'll even "hitch a ride." She walks out singing.
10:07 Rather than go back home, Bobby stops at a batting cage/go-cart place. He can't seem to hit a ball and says, "I need a bigger bat." Somehow I think Whitney would disagree.
10:15 Finally, they're home but a different one. This time it's their "second home" in Morristown, N.J. Lots of photos of Whitney on the walls. None of Bobby. He shows us their former studio/current game room where their awards are kept, including his "five Grammys, seven American Music Awards and two People's Choice Awards."
10:16 Bobby wants a foot massage so, of course, we get a close-up of one of his feet and, of course, Bobbi Kris gives us a "Eww!"
10:17 Bobby and Whitney sing a frightening a cappella duet of "Born to Be Wild." Whitney morphs into Linda Blair à la Mercedes McCambridge in The Exorcist.
10:20 Bobby says cigarettes are like terrorists, but they "kill more people" (even though he has one in his hand) and then says, "George Bush put me in jail."
10:21 Whitney screams "Kiss my a--!" Cut to commercial break.
10:25 Bobby's at a studio and is handed a hot cup of tea since his voice is groggy and asks, "Is there liquor in it?" He proceeds to sing, and I can't decide if he sounds more like James Brown or Burgess Meredith.
10:27 Bobby belches and Whitney screams "Bobby, what's wrong with you?"
10:29 Bobby to Whitney: "I'm gonna bite your a-- tonight." Whitney with the enthusiasm of Bea Arthur: "Uhh. My god, I'm excited."

Next week: The season finale "Bobby Brown's Greatest Hits" all the best scenes, including our favorite catch phrase, "Hell to the no!" plus some "all-new, never-before-seen footage." Hell to the yes!  Dave Anderson