On Tuesday, America's Got Talent returned to NBC for its sixth season. Among the offerings in this gentlest of freak shows was a guy whose shtick was that he was way too old and way too white to be singing Taio Cruz's "Dynamite." But mostly, he was way too uncoordinated: He fell off the stage in what seemed like a planned bit that nonetheless had the judges clutching their pearls and banging on their buzzers (which basically amount to personal-sized gongs).
Far more crowd-pleasing were the tykes in the video below, whose just-out-of-diapers status really gave their live hip-hop routine that special something. The SH'Boss Boys' song focused on all of the ways in which they are "G's." Here are just some of the ways to be a G, according to children aged 5 to 7:
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1. Know the track you will be rapping to well enough so that when the producers accidentally (on purpose) play the wrong one, you can announce the error into your microphone, impressing the crowd with your brain's processing ability.
2. Be smarter than the average second grader.
3. Master addition <i>and</i> subtraction.
4. Play games that you shouldn't be playing.
5. Mumble rhythmically.
6. Be good in school.
7. Back into the irony that your mom-ager/dad-ager imposed upon you when she or he made you rap this song and reveal at the end that "G" stands not for "gangster," but "genius." When you announce this, fold your arms over your chest as though you understand what you're talking about, even though you really have no idea what the implications of genius are, since you are 7 at most.
Watch the SH'Boss Boys rap their credo below: