Today's News: Our Take


The Bachelor's Near Mrs.


Even before she made him eat codfish, viewers of ABC's The Bachelor (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET) knew that it was only a matter of time before superfine Firestone wine heir Andrew pruned thorny Jersey girl Cristina from his garden of sweeties. However, frisky frontrunner Kirsten need not sign up for classes in cork-sniffing and posey-arranging just yet; her victory is anything but a foregone conclusion. In fact, a quick review of her behavior thus far, as well the attractive attributes of her romantic rivals, reveals that her handsome playboy may well leave her singing "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." Check it out. &#151Ben Katner

Kirsten: Let's all agree on one point right off the bat, shall we? This chick is hot. Really, really hot. And she's not just another pretty face, either. She's got one helluva set of curves on 'er, too. Erstwhile Joe Millionaire Evan would probably go so far as to say that she's got a " read more

RAIDING THE DVD MARKET

Coming to a video store near you this holiday season: a certain archeologist-adventurer named Indiana freakin' Jones!! On Nov. 4, Paramount Home Entertainment will finally release the entire Indiana Jones trilogy — including Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade — as part of a special four-disc DVD set. Among the extras being offered are new interviews with Harrison Ford, producer George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg. read more

SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Long Island's most infamous lovebirds are splitting up. Joey Buttafuoco confirmed Monday that he and wife Mary Jo are divorcing after 26 years of marriage. "It's okay. To move on you've got to get a divorce," Buttafuoco told The Associated Press. "She's with another guy. His name is Stew. I've been with a girl for awhile, too." This doesn't really qualify as entertainment news, but his quote was just too priceless to resist. read more

MORE OPRAH

Oprah Winfrey won't be quitting her day job anytime soon. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the gab queen is thisclose to finalizing a deal to renew her talk show for two more years, through the 2007-08 season. Winfrey had been planning to wrap up Oprah at the end of the 2005-06 season. read more

SMUGGLED

A 40-year-old pedestrian milling about in eastern England discovered two unbound copies of the new Harry Potter novel, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, dumped in a field. The books, which don't arrive in stores until June 21, are being returned to the publishing company. An investigation into their apparent theft is underway. Also discovered in the field: Michael Jackson's old nose, Paula Abdul's cochlea and Alan Thicke's missing teeth. read more

LAME DUCK

FX has elected not to support American Candidate, a 13-week reality series that would have followed 10 presidential hopefuls as they campaigned across the country. Apparently, the project proved too costly. read more

SHORT CUTS

Today's Matt Lauer will switch jobs with a New York taxi driver on May 15 as part of the show's week-long trading places stunt... Mr. Personality host Monica Lewinsky will serve as guest co-host on Jimmy Kimmel Live next Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. read more

SIGNING OFF

Frasier star David Hyde Pierce is all but confirming that next season will be the last for his long-running NBC comedy. "I think the indications are that it's going to end after this coming season," the Emmy winner says. "That's sort of what we've been told. We shoot one more season and that would be it... We want it to go out classy." Um, it's a little late for that. read more

MISTER ROGERS'S GREATEST HITS

The World According to Mister Rogers, a collection of Fred Rogers's inspirational sayings, advice and anecdotes, will be published in book form by Hyperion this fall. Rogers died in February at age 74 of stomach cancer. read more

WEEKEND UPDATE

Saturday Night Live headwriter/Weekend Update anchor Tina Fey has signed a new two-year deal with the show worth a reported $4 million. The pact also calls for Fey to develop a prime-time comedy for NBC and to improve SNL so it stops sucking so bad. read more

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