Today's News: Our Take


HOLY &*%#!

Apparently, the sight of Jack and Kelly beating each other to a pulp on last week's The Osbournes wasn't proof enough for MTV that its once-hot reality show was dying a slow death. The network has ordered a 20-episode third season of the show, premiering in early 2004. In other Osbourne news, Aimee still refuses to do the show, but will make her acting debut in MTV's modern adaptation of Emily Brönte's Wuthering Heights, airing Sept. 4. read more

THIS YEAR'S MODEL

Jesus was wrong. He told America's Next Top Model contestant Shannon in a dream that our fave, Elyse, would make the final two, but at halftime of last night's season finale, the future M.D. got eliminated, paving the way for endearing dark-horse candidate Adrianne to come from behind and win a Revlon contract, a Wilhelmina representation deal and a restraining order against judge Janice Dickinson. If you have a question for either Adrianne or Elyse — sorry Shannon, but you're boring — send them to me via the link at the bottom of this column. I'll forward them on to my colleague Daniel "Party Boy" Coleridge, who will be speaking to them later today. read more

STRIP SUIT

A former stripper is suing Pamela Anderson and comic book icon Stan Lee, claiming she is the "true creator" of TNN's new animated series Stripperella. Janet Clover alleges that she pitched Lee the idea for Stripperella a year ago during a private dance session. Apparently, she also pitched him a story about a superhero who was half man, half spider. read more

FOR LOVE OR RATINGS

Monday's finale of For Love or Money was money in the bank for NBC. The two-hour swan song easily won its timeslot among adults 18-49 and attracted 12.9 million viewers. On the downside, Nielsen estimates that 12.8 million of those tuning in were asleep by the second hour. read more

BREAKING HER SILENCE

Tomb Raider star Angelina Jolie is speaking out for the first time about her short-lived marriage to Billy Bob Thornton. "We're not friends, no," she tells Barbara Walters on Friday's 20/20. "It's like we just changed, we became very different people, and I wouldn't know what to talk to him about." Here's a suggestion: Are Cruz and Eden the greatest soap super couple ever to grace the tube? Discuss. read more

IF THE SHOE FITS...

Renée Zellweger has signed on to star opposite Russell Crowe in the Ron Howard-directed Cinderella Man, Variety reports. The film centers around Depression-era boxer Jim Braddock (Crowe), who became a folk hero by winning a 15-round match against champ Max Baer in 1935. Zellweger will play his wife. read more

SAVAGE SPEAKS

Disgraced right-wing talk show host Michael Savage claims he didn't know he was on the air when he referred to a caller as a "sodomite" who should "get AIDS and die." As a result, he says MSNBC was wrong to fire him over the flap. "MSNBC should be ashamed of themselves for catering to a mistake like this," he said on his radio show Monday night. "They're fools." Kettle, I've got Pot on Line 1. read more

J.R. RETURNS!

SoapNet has acquired all 13 seasons of Dallas, to begin airing weekdays beginning Sept. 8. I'll ask again: What about Santa Barbara?!?! read more

Kelsey Grammer Smells a Rat


If we didn't know better, we'd say Kelsey Grammer had an objection to the legal profession. How else to explain his new TNN series Gary the Rat, about a rodent who works as a Big Apple attorney. "I think anyone that's ever lived or worked in Hollywood has had a bad run-in with a lawyer," laughs the Frasier star, who voices the title character and serves as a producer. "Unfortunately, the stereotype about [lawyers] is not very favorable, so we thought we'd take advantage of that and use it for the good of entertainment."

Grammer's opinion of legal types was hardly enhanced by a New York judge's recent decision to grant filmmaker Spike Lee an injunction preventing TNN from renaming itself Spike TV. (Late yesterday, Lee settled, giving TNN permission to use the Spike TV name.) "I think read more

Seven Silly Questions for Johnny Bravo

Filmmaker Spike Lee may have given TNN the green light to rebrand itself Spike TV, but the case will likely pave the way for similar lawsuits in the future. Case in point: Johnny Bravo — Cartoon Network's ego-trippin' Elvis type — is considering a lawsuit against the TV network that shares his name.


TV Guide Online: Do you think you have a case?
Bravo:
Are you kidding? Bravo's got Bravo written all over it! I mean, they might as well change the name of The It Factor to Who Wants To Be Johnny Bravo?

TVGO: What tipped you off that Bravo might be taking advantage of your image to attract viewers?
Bravo:
When that [James] Lipton guy started wearing sunglasses and calling his female guests "hot mamas."

TVGO: Spike Lee hired Johnny Cochran as his attorney. You're goi read more

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