Today's News: Our Take


PASSING THE BATON

NBC may want to rename its Thursday night lineup Might-See TV. For the first time on record, CBS beat NBC last Thursday among adults 18-49. Contributing to the Peacock network's woes: another disastrous performance from the hiatus-bound Coupling. (The moral of this story? Don't air TV shows that suck.) In other ratings news, Fox's coverage of the World Series averaged 20.1 million viewers over the six games — up from 19.3 million last year when no one cared who won. read more

WHEN IN ROME

HBO is partnering with the BBC on an epic drama series set in ancient Rome. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the two networks have ordered 12 episodes of the series, which is slated to debut in 2005. The budget? A hefty $5 million per episode. read more

MOMMIES QUEEREST

After an exhaustive search, Less Than Perfect has finally delivered two actresses to play the lesbian mothers of oddball dad-to-be Owen (Andy Dick): sitcom queens Valerie Harper (Rhoda) and Joanna Kerns (Growing Pains). Cagney & Lacey alumnae Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless were originally approached, but Daly passed. For more "TV News" scoop — including the latest on Jessica Simpson's wish to star in a big-screen remake of I Dream of Jeannie — pick up the current issue of read more

SHORT CUTS

Comic actor Dave Chappelle has signed a deal with Showtime to launch a series of comedy specials showcasing new standup acts... Nicole Kidman has been tapped as the new face of Chanel No. 5. read more

SundayAlias Ain't it just like...

Sunday

Alias
Ain't it just like a woman to stab you in the lung, stand back and watch while you get kicked down an embankment, and then tell your buddies to come pick your carcass up out of the dirt? Well, it's just like this woman, anyway. And ain't it just like a guy to dream about her instead of the devoted wife who's teleporting around the hospital room while he hovers near death? Oy... love.

Oh, and it's a bummer about Sloane. I was really hoping to see him disarmed.

The Practice
Eugene and Jamie fight over a toothbrush — yup, they're a real couple, alright. And I've got to hand it to James Spader, who always keeps me guessing as Alan Shore, a guy who never met an ethic he wanted to get to know. I never figured him for a guy who'd have such a tough time making the first move on someone (Tara, in case you weren't watching) who really wanted him to. He's creepy and he's kooky. And I'd sa read more

WILL MEGA WIN?

Just when we thought controversial Big Brother alum Will Mega had vanished from the pop culture landscape for good, the 31-year-old antagonist formally known as William Collins decides to run for Philadelphia City Council on the Education Party ticket. Mega is calling himself a "hip-hop political-activist candidate." I call him homeless in two years. read more

NO JOKE

The third time's the charm for the Scary Movie franchise. The third installment of the horror-spoof series topped the box office with $49.7 million, the best October debut ever. (Note to Good Morning America movie critic Joel Siegel: My 84-year-old grandmother went to see SM 3 based on your glowing review — only to storm out of the theater 10 minutes in. "It was revolting," she told me last night. "Can you get me Joel's address, because I want to write him a letter.") Meanwhile, the Scary windfall pushed last weekend's No. 1 flick, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, to No. 2 with $14.7 million. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s feel-good drama Radio opened in third place with an impressive $14 million haul. And read more

SUDDEN RECAST

Former Different World star Jasmine Guy has dropped out of Broadway's The Violet Hour two weeks before opening night. The actress left the production during intermission at last Thursday's preview performance for unspecified "medical reasons." She was replaced by understudy Robin Miles, who looked rather shaky at Friday night's preview. Still, the production is worth your dime — mostly because Scott Foley is really good in it. And I'm not just saying that because he was on Felicity. read more

Meet Bernie Mac's Lil' Dictator


Since Jeremy Suarez co-stars on The Bernie Mac Show and lends his voice to Disney's Brother Bear (opening today), you'd think the child star gets whatever he wants. But that's not exactly the case for this spunky kid.

"I'm trying to convince my mom to get me a monkey," Suarez says. "She [keeps saying] no, though. My favorite animal is the little capuchin monkey. They are so active and silly."

Why the obsession with this particular pet, especially since he already has a dog and a snake? "Who doesn't want a monkey?" the pint-sized actor retorts. "I would train it to operate [things]. I saw this school where you send your monkey. They can train it to use microwaves, and they potty train it, too.

"That's what I want to do," he adds, excitedly. "He'd help me clean up my room. All I do [for chores] is read more

Scott Foley's Scrubs Spoiler!


Scott Foley exits NBC's Scrubs next Thursday when his dolphin trainer character Sean accepts a plum research gig in Hawaii. But as the beloved Felicity grad reveals, that doesn't mean his on-screen romance with Sarah Chalke's Elliot will flatline. "We decide that we're going to try a long-distance relationship," he tells TV Guide Online. "At the last minute, Elliot says, 'We can do it! We can make it work!' It's really sweet."

Still, the couple's long-term prognosis appears grim given that Foley is only signed on to do one more episode — tentatively scheduled for February. (He's currently appearing on Broadway in Richard Greenberg's morality tale The Violet Hour.) And despite rumors, Foley says there was never any talk of him coming on board as a permam read more

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