Today's News: Our Take


HOT STUFF

Despite a last-minute appeal for a PG-13 rating, Michael Moore's much-hyped anti-Dubya doc Fahrenheit 9/11 will be released today in New York with an R rating. The MPAA upheld its R ruling based on language, graphic content and a shot of Colin Powell wearing a Speedo. read more

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Star Trek: Voyager Borg Jeri Ryan accused her former husband, Republican Senate candidate Jack Ryan, of trying to coerce her into performing sex acts at various clubs while others (Janeway, the Doctor, the entire Borg collective) watched. The charges — first leveled during the couple's bitter child-custody battle back in 2000 — were made public on Monday. In the documents the actress also acknowledged infidelity on her part, but only after the marriage was irretrievably broken. read more

HEY YA!

HBO has tapped OutKast's Andre 3000 and Big Boi to headline a "full-blown singing and dancing musical," Variety reports. The project — which will land in theaters before debuting on HBO — will inject contemporary music into a period tale and feature tunes from the duo's Grammy-winning CD, Speakerboxx/The Love Below. Production is slated to begin later this summer. read more

MY NAME IS MARY-KATE...

Mary-Kate Olsen — who for months has dodged anorexia rumors — has entered a treatment facility to seek help for an eating disorder. "[She] made a very courageous, precautionary decision," her rep tells USA Today. "Mary-Kate is taking charge in making this decision. She wants to be healthy." Olsen is expected to remain in treatment for about a month. read more

HUGE LOT

Part 1 of TNT's Salem's Lot redo averaged nearly 6 million viewers Sunday night, making it the year's most-watched basic-cable flick. Monday's finale attracted 5.3 million viewers. Elsewhere, the third-season premiere of Monk on USA drew 5.5 million viewers, the show's most-watched opener yet. For more ratings news, read Stephen Battaglio's The Biz. read more

FIRST BRIT, NOW THIS...

Jessica Simpson was forced to scrap a concert in Providence, R.I., on Tuesday due to a kidney infection. Nick's other half planned to resume her tour in New Hampshire on Wednesday. She has also sworn off kidney beans for life. read more

Nip/Tuck What a juicy second-season...

Nip/Tuck
What a juicy second-season premiere. Nice touch casting Joely Richardson's real-life mother, Vanessa Redgrave, as Julia's mother, Dr. Erica Noughton. But this chilly witch is a child psychologist? Yikes! That aside, Erica certainly wasn't chilly toward Christian when she slipped his hand underneath her skirt. Tell me you didn't see that hook-up coming from a mile away. Still, it was slutty, soapy fun, especially considering the added complication of Christian and Julia's unresolved mutual feelings. Speaking of soapy, Sean's mysterious case of "the yips" — or what I call Soap-Opera Surgeon's Shaky-Hand Syndrome — has been done and redone on daytime dramas for ages. Yawn.

Meanwhile, I'm reminded that Julian McMahon (Christian) spends lots of time stark naked on this show. Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm tired of looking at McMahon's arse. Notice how he's always clenching his cheek read more

CAN WE TALK?

Joan Rivers — who's about to become my new co-worker — is returning to Las Vegas for the first time in nearly a decade. The red-carpet hellraiser will perform her shtick for four nights at the Stardust hotel-casino beginning Wednesday. Speaking of Joan and Melissa's big move to the TV Guide Channel, the pair reportedly signed a three-year deal worth between $6 million and $8 million. In addition to their trademark award-show duties, they will also host a series of holiday specials and lifestyle shows. Missy is also rumored to be in talks to join the Watercooler team as a weekend substitute. read more

PAGING ANGIE HARMON...

Here's proof it pays to make up silly rumors! Just days after we "speculated" about a possible recast, word comes that Elisabeth Rohm will in fact exit Law & Order next season to pursue other opportunities. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Rohm has agreed to stick around for the first 13 episodes of the season, after which her character, ADA Serena Southerlyn, will hopefully go somewhere hot to thaw out. read more

MUSIC TO THEIR EARS

The American Film Institute has named "Over the Rainbow" the best movie song of all-time. Rounding out the top five were "As Time Goes By" (Casablanca), "Singin' in the Rain" (Singin' in the Rain), "Moon River" (Breakfast at Tiffany's) and "White Christmas" (Holiday Inn). read more

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