Today's News: Our Take

Pepsi SmashLook at Alanis Morissette,...

Pepsi Smash Look at Alanis Morissette, all grown up! And I love the hair. That Rapunzel look never really worked in my opinion, anyway. And I'm digging her new sound and song, "Everything." She's still a little hard to understand (after all, she is Canadian), but the lyrics go something like, "You see everything/You see every part/You see something something/And you love my dog." That's brilliant! Although I wish she had a cat so I could identify with her even more. Oh, wait. I googled the lyrics and it turns out it's actually "You see all my light/And you love my dark," but I'll never be able to get dog out of my head. And I really like that Maroon 5 song and I thought that the lead singer was pretty cute (like a peppier Chris Martin)— until I saw his Lakers jersey. Ugh.

Come to Papa Tonight's big jokes revolved around overweight kids, hobos and "female problems." The only thing remotely redeeming about this episode w read more


After months of on-air begging, David Letterman has finally worn down Paris Hilton. The Simple Life diva has agreed to appear on Monday's Late Show, CBS confirms. "They have a lot in common," notes Late Show exec producer Rob Burnett. "She's the heir to the Hilton Hotel fortune and he's the heir to the Stadium Motor Lodge fortune." read more

Why Glenn Close Has No Man

Glenn Close says she's nothing like the impeccably clad housefrau she plays in The Stepford Wives (opening tomorrow). In fact, the 57-year-old star's biggest fear is glamming up and dressing to perfection for Hollywood events!

"It is the absolute burden of my existence," Close admits. "It is an absolute horror. When I have to go somewhere it is like, 'What am I going to wear — and who is going to criticize it?' I hate it.

"I'm very bad at shopping, and I don't like spending money on clothes," she adds with a sigh. "I'm very lucky to have designers that will lend me things [or] give a lovely discount, and that's nice. I was not raised [with] shopping as entertainment, so for me, it is absolute agony. I'm very lucky to have people to help me."

A single mother, Close doesn't blame fashion foibles for her lack of a boyfriend. Instead, she feels her strong career choices are the problem. "I realized the other day that I have been in this prof read more


NBC has announced plans to air a record-shattering 1210 hours of Olympic competition between Aug. 13 and Aug. 29. That's three times the coverage the network offered for the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. read more


Showtime has tapped talk-show host Montel Williams to emcee American Candidate. Debuting Aug. 1, the 10-episode reality series will follow mock-presidential hopefuls as they "campaign" for the Oval Office. The winner gets $200,000 and 15 minutes alone with Monica Lewinsky. In other news, George Lopez has been invited back to host the 2004 Latin Grammys, airing Sept. 1 on CBS. read more

Seven Silly Questions for... Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan is not Howard Stern... yet. But give him time. In any given week, you can catch the future king of all media on two of the tube's most polarizing programs, NBC's Fear Factor (Mondays at 8 pm/ET) and Comedy Central's The Man Show (Sundays at 10 pm/ET). Today, he's even taking over the Internet, visiting TV Guide Online to answer seven of our silliest questions ever. Can the former stand-up's conquest of Paris Hilton, UPN and the world be far behind?

TV Guide Online: Since men are such notorious channel surfers, is The Man Show doomed simply because its title aims to attract this fickle demographic?
Joe Rogan:
We counter that problem by featuring many young girls with bags of saline stuffed into the skin beneath their nipples. I know it sounds weird, but it actually works.

TVGO: Care to address the rumor that you only allow Doug Stanhope to continue on as your co-host because you think he's less handsome than read more


MGM is developing a Broadway musical based on the Legally Blonde film franchise. The news comes just days after the studio announced plans to produce a Legally Blonde TV series. Why the sudden interest in all things Elle Woods? It's easier to copy stuff than create something original. read more


Actress Rosanna Arquette will guest star on the WB beach drama Summerland, TV Guide Online has learned. She'll play the estranged mother of surfer girl Erika (Taylor Cole). And word is, Mommy has a very serious health concern. Arquette's episode airs July 20. read more


A new batch of Star Wars cartoons will debut on Cartoon Network early next year. The 12-minute episodes, which will pick up where the Clone Wars cartoon series left off, are slated to air on five consecutive nights beginning March 21 — two months before Episode III hits theaters. read more


Elizabeth Taylor has settled a lawsuit filed by her former landscaper, who claimed he was fired after he rebuffed a sexual advance from her butler. The gardener said he was owed $294,000 for 10 years of work. Terms of the settlement were not released. read more

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