Today's News: Our Take


DEAR DIARY...

Real-life husband-and-wife duo Christina Applegate and Johnathon Schaech have signed on to star in Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas, CBS's upcoming movie adaptation of James Patterson's best-selling novel. read more

RATINGS PARADISE

Despite North Shore-type reviews, NBC's Hawaii got off to a decent start Wednesday. The much-maligned cop drama won its time slot with 10.4 million viewers. Fox's Renovate My Family also enjoyed a solid debut, attracting 9.5 million viewers and ranking as the night's top draw among adults 18 to 49. Now, let's all observe a moment of silence in memory of quality television. read more

Hawaii OK, so the opening credits...

Hawaii
OK, so the opening credits have a cheesy-fun Baywatch feel and we love Michael Biehn, but come on. Eric Balfour and Ivan Sergei as hipster Big Island cops? Yeah, that's about as appealing as a full-body cavity search. Thankfully, the crime scenery is nohea and Sharif Atkins finally got some huahuas after his snooze-inducing ER stint. His scruffy 'tude alone almost makes up for tonight's clunky first-episode exposition and too-grisly-for-8pm plot. Charred bodies and a trunk full of heads really need to wait until, say 10ish? Hopefully the writers won't wait to realize that Atkins and Aya Sumika are hotter than lava and get these two back in the Jacuzzi, wikiwiki! Otherwise, this one may not have a pule.

Amish in the City
Back when The Real World was more than sluts and cutters, we had original New Yorkers Julie and Kevin spitting at one read more

SHORT CUTS

A judge has refused to reduce Michael Jackson's $3 million bail on child-molestation charges.... NBC's much-hyped CGI comedy Father of the Pride averaged a modest 11 million viewers in its debut Tuesday.... Monica Potter (Along Came a Spider, Patch Adams) has joined the cast of ABC's upcoming Practice spin-off, Boston Legal. She'll play Lori Colson, a junior partner at Crane, Poole & Schmidt. read more

SHOW STOPPERS

VH1 staple Michael Ian Black, comic D.L. Hughley and actress Amy Sedaris will be among the guest hosts filling Craig Kilborn's vacant Late Late Show seat beginning Sept. 20. I'm happy for them — in a jealous, bitter kinda way. read more

SEE JANE RUN

In other ratings news, Jane Pauley's new talk show got off to a decent start Monday, averaging a 2.4 weighted metered market rating. Although that number means absolutely nothing to me, Nielsen pundits say it represents the best debut for a syndicated talk show since Dr. Phil arrived on the scene in 2002. read more

Big Brother's Other Half

For several weeks, Natalie Carroll lived among Big Brother 5's housemates using a false moniker: She was pretending to be her identical-twin sister, Adria. The 30-year-old twins kept their roomies in the dark, repeatedly trading places until the "Project DNA" twist was finally revealed on Aug. 5. That's when Natalie became a full-fledged contestant in her own right. We figure the others couldn't tell the sibs apart because, not only are they lookalikes, they're also equally clueless. (Remember when Will used the word "karma" and the sisters didn't know what it meant? They thought he was talking about celebrity "Carma Electra.") Last week, the sisters landed on the chopping block, with Natalie's head rolling first. Before she was sequestered, TV Guide Online attempted to interview the not-so-bright Nat about her untimely ouster.

TVGO: You gals had some embarrassing moments. Anything you'd love to take back?
Natalie Carroll:
I have no regrets read more

George Lopez's Big Latin Comeback

George Lopez has a big head. But it's not just because his ABC sitcom, George Lopez, is a hit for the network. Or that his recent autobiography, Why You Crying?, is a best-seller. Or even that he's hosting the Latin Grammys tonight for the second straight year. No, it's because, as the 43-year-old comedian would readily admit, his skull is just plain... big. So we thought we'd pick his oversized brain for answers to some nagging questions.

TV Guide Online: The size of your head is the butt of many jokes on your show. What did the kids say about you back in school?
George Lopez:
How about: "One size fits all — except George." What was so sad is I wanted to play football in high school, and the day we get our pads, the helmet doesn't fit. So they couldn't find a helmet to fit my head and I had to quit playing football.

TVGO: You started out doing stand-up. What's one of the worst memories from those early days?
Lopez:
I was at read more

GOING PUBLIC

Monica Potter (Along Came a Spider, Patch Adams) has joined the cast of ABC's upcoming Practice spin-off, Boston Legal. She'll play Lori Colson, a junior partner at Crane, Poole & Schmidt who forms a kinship with James Spader's Alan Shore. read more

AMAZING GRACE?

Dating models Brandon and Nicole cheated death on last night's pulse-pounding Amazing Race. The God-loving twosome — who fell to last place after refusing to get their cherished coiffures chopped off during a challenge — arrived at the pit stop only to discover that it was the third of four predetermined nonelimination legs. Responding to their good fortune, Nicole said: "I see that the Lord really wants us in the game." And by "Lord," she means their agent. read more

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