Today's News: Our Take

SUNDAYSix Feet Under Here I am...


Six Feet Under
Here I am just about to write, "Hey, no death in the beginning!" But then Mr. Marshall pulls into Fisher & Diaz's driveway to die. Drives himself, which is no mean feat. Me, I figure I'll die in a car, too, but that has a lot more to do with the other L.A. drivers than with sound planning and good timing.

I definitely think Keith has the right idea in grabbing Celeste when she's freaking out, by the way. He just doesn't throttle long or hard enough. (Sorry, but the poor-little-rich-girl, road-is-lonely act doesn't get anywhere with me, sympathy-wise.)

Joe walks in on Brenda and Nate making out and says, "It's him. Your previous indiscretion." Well, you better hope so, pal.

As for Ruth leaving dinner burning in the oven, it could've been much worse. Last time I saw people do that on a screen, it ended up being a piece of Satan in the oven and they ended up piles of smoking read more


Matt Dillon has signed on to play the villain in Disney's Love Bug update, Herbie: Fully Loaded, opposite Lindsay Lohan; Mummy mommy Rachel Weisz has landed the female lead (because, really, the male lead would've been kind of a stretch) in Pi auteur Darren Aronofsky's sci-fi thriller, The Fountain, with Hugh Jackman; and Elizabeth Perkins has been plucked from obscurity to be Mary-Louise Parker's prickly foil in the proposed Showtime series Weeds, about a dope-dealing suburbanite. All this, and still, no one has come up with a showcase yet for Next Action Star man-diva Jared. C'mon, Hollywood... think! Think! read more


In still more music news, erstwhile Beach Boy Brian Wilson kicks off the American leg of his Smile tour on Sept. 30 in Minneapolis. For those of you who wouldn't know his daughter, Carnie Wilson, from Art Carney, Smile (a rerecorded version of which will be released on Sept. 28) is the "lost" B-Boys album that was supposed to serve as the follow-up to Pet Sounds. read more


Before the UK premiere of I, Robot, Will Smith and partner in rhyme DJ Jazzy Jeff performed an outdoor concert for about 3000 fans. Of those in attendance, we bet at least four left wondering whether, since the erstwhile Fresh Prince is now 35, he was almost ready to begin referring to himself as the Fresh King. read more


The presidential race may be heatin' up, and folks may be frettin' over terror alerts, but Dubya's gone fishin'. Tonight at 8 pm/ET, you can find the President on Fishing with Roland Martin on the Outdoor Life Network. Host Martin joins Bush at his Crawford, Tex., ranch, where they spent a day bass fishing on his 11-acre man-made lake. Must be nice. read more


Speaking of reality television, Big Brother 5 aired its best episode yet last night, and (surprise!) our enjoyment didn't have diddly to do with the big "Project DNA" reveal. Self-proclaimed "savage" Scott got tossed out on his mouth... er, we mean his butt. (Where this cretin's concerned, the two are easy to confuse.) That leaves his buddy, nasty future Brad Pitt stalker Jase, with only his reflection for companionship. Which, come to think of it, will undoubtedly make the narcissist a very happy camper. read more


Troubled funk-music legend Rick James — best known for his hit song "Super Freak" — has died in Los Angeles. He was 56. No details of his death are yet known. Just two months ago, he accepted a lifetime-achievement award at the ASCAP Rhythm & Soul Music Awards in Beverly Hills. read more


Too bad they didn't think of this before he passed away! Friends and fans of Ray Charles are coming together for a tribute to the fallen star on Sept. 29. Emcee Bill Cosby will introduce such artists as Michael McDonald and Angie Stone at the event, proceeds from which will benefit the Morehouse College Center for the Arts in Georgia, a state that was never far from his thoughts. read more


Eartha Kitt, 77 — best known for her purr-fectly ferocious take on Catwoman in the '60s Batman TV series — suffered minor injuries in a car accident near her Connecticut home on Thursday. Kitt's Land Rover reportedly collided with another car and flipped over. Fortunately, she was treated and released from a local hospital the same day, and her passengers (two pet poodles) were unharmed. But the scare has almost certainly cost Kitt one of her nine lives. read more


Despite its best efforts to get TV advertisements for Fahrenheit 9/11 barred from television by calling their broadcast illegal "electioneering," a conservative advocacy group has been shot down by the Federal Election Committee, it was revealed yesterday. We can't know this for sure, but we suspect that upon hearing the news, the members of R.E.M. spontaneously began singing "Shiny Happy People." (If you don't know the band's feelings on our commander in chief, see the item a ways below.) read more

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