Today's News: Our Take


I SPY A PLUM PART

Alias hottie Michael Vartan is in talks to join the cast of Monster-in-Law, which centers on a girl (Jennifer Lopez) who's set to marry the perfect guy (Vartan) until she meets his mother (Jane Fonda). Vartan would shoot the film this summer during his Alias hiatus. read more

IS IT ANY WONDER?

Another really good TV show has bitten the dust: Fox has canceled Wonderfalls after just four episodes. read more

CASTING ABOUT

Lord of Rings star John Rhys-Davies — he played Gimli — has been tapped to star opposite Bill Pullman in NBC's apocalyptic-drama pilot Revelations, according to The Hollywood Reporter. In other pilot-casting news, Joe Lawrence — whose Run of the House is about to come to an end — has landed the male lead in the potential ABC comedy I Married Sofia. He'll play a stockbroker who marries a Colombian actress (Sofia Vergara) so she can get her green card. read more

SPIDEY, YOU'RE FIRED!

A two-and-a-half minute trailer for Spider-Man 2 will premiere during Thursday's penultimate episode of The Apprentice, USA Today reports. read more

END QUOTE

"To meet the man was wonderful, but to have him fire me was a downright shame." — Country bumpkin Troy McClain discussing his showdown with Donald Trump on Thursday's Apprentice in an interview with TV Guide Online. For the complete Q&A, click here. read more

CHOICE KUDOS

Despite buzz that J.Lo was cruisin' for a sliming, it was wonder twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen who found themselves on the receiving end of a big tub of green goo at Saturday's Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. Shrek's Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz emceed the annual kiddie kudos, which saw Adam Sandler nab the coveted "Wannabe Award," given to the celebrity kids most want to be like. Other winners included Finding Nemo (fave movie), Amanda Bynes (fave movie actress), Jim Carrey (fave movie actor), All read more

ATTABOY

A snarky demon body-slammed The Rock at the weekend box office. Comic-book-inspired movie Hellboy opened at No. 1 with $23.5 million, easily topping Dwayne Johnson's Walking Tall remake, which grossed $15.3 million for second place. Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed fell from first to third with $15.1 million, followed by newcomers Home on the Range (No. 4 with $14 million) and Julia Stiles' royal romance The Prince & Me (No. 5 with $10 million). read more

The Sopranos And now things get...

The Sopranos
And now things get messy. (Like the dog poop on Tony's shoe.) It's funny, I thought that strangely romantic moment between Tony (James Gandolfini) and Adriana (Drea "I got a sitcom, everybody!" de Matteo) was going to play itself out over several episodes (I guess I'm still getting used to last season's "C'mon, somethin' happen!" pace.) But nope — about 40 minutes later, Tony has a gun digging into Christopher's face as he forces him to truly believe that nothing actually happened between him and Adriana before the dreaded car accident. (Did the Feds hire that reckless raccoon to dart out in the middle of the road like that?) Man, there is something ugly churning inside Tony's battered head. As Dr. Melfi said, "For once, you want to avoid something you know that's wrong."

High School Reunion
On WB's website it says, "Will two weeks with Johnny destroy three with Brad?" (Brad is read more

PAPA SHOULDA PREACHED

Kelly Osbourne was admitted to a California drug-rehabilitation clinic Friday to treat an addiction to painkillers. Like any good parents, Ozzy and Sharon broke the news on CNN's Larry King Live. In related news, Ozzy has filed a complaint with the state medical board, accusing a Beverly Hills doctor of overprescribing addictive drugs to him, the Los Angeles Times reports. Dr. David Kipper has been asked to turn over copies of the rocker's medical records. Paging U-Haul... read more

Roseanne Confesses: ''I Faked It!''


Roseanne Barr's big comeback was aborted last summer when her two reality shows — The Real Roseanne Show and Domestic Goddess — were canceled within days of each other. The ax swung soon after it was announced that the one-time sitcom queen had to undergo an emergency hysterectomy. "I had a choice between continuing on or having an organ removed," Barr says. "I immediately chose having an organ removed."

Well, there's a little more to the story than that. The reality is that ABC's Real Roseanne Show was tanking in the ratings, which didn't bode well for the then-forthcoming ABC Family spinoff, Domestic Goddess. Plus, as Barr laments, her first foray into unscripted TV "was too hard. It was all a big, big mess."

For example, Barr reveals, Real Roseanne "was totally faked. They had me doing things on that show that I never do in real life — like get out of bed and shower and exercise and talk to peop read more

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