Today's News: Our Take


GRUDGE REMATCH

Boreanaz's former TV-squeeze Sarah Michelle Gellar probably won't be heading back to the small screen anytime soon. Her spooky Halloween treat The Grudge scored the No. 1 spot at the box office for the second straight weekend. The film grossed another $22.4 million and edged out Jamie Foxx's acclaimed Oscar showcase Ray, which debuted at No. 2 with a strong $20.1 million. Among other newcomers, the serial-killer thriller Saw opened at No. 3 with $17.4 million, while Nicole Kidman's controversial reincarnation drama Birth brought in a so-so $1.7 million on just 500 screens. read more

DEAD END

Rumors that a major character is about to get whacked on ABC's Desperate Housewives have not been greatly exaggerated. Sources confirm that the Grim Reaper will pay a visit to one of Wisteria Lane's finest in an episode to air later this month. (Please, take the twins!) read more

EVEN MORE JOEY

NBC has ordered two additional episodes of Joey, bringing the spin-off's first-season episode order to 24. A source tells me the Peacock requested the extra episodes because, well, "they really need it." Another thing they really need: Better scripts. read more

SNEAK ATTACK

Michael Moore's dream has come true: His anti-Dubya Fahrenheit 9/11 will make its pay-per-view debut tonight on the Dish Network — one day before the big election. Now don't forget to vote. I hear you'll die if you don't. read more

SUNDAY60 Minutes I'll leave the...

SUNDAY

60 Minutes
I'll leave the story about the lack of armored vehicles and other equipment in Iraq alone, since that's not really what you come here for. Just one word, though: Vote.

Moving on, now we know the Ashlee Simpson lip-sync flub was due to her being worried about losing her voice, which doesn't clear up why she tried to weasel out by blaming her poor band. And Lorne Michaels, despite the audio people who undoubtedly had to be in on the setup in order for it to work, didn't know she was planning to do that. As both he and Dr. Evil would say, riiiiight.

Cold Case
The girl spots her murdered mom's bracelet on eBay, suggests that the person selling it might provide a lead, and that makes her "smart as a whip"? Even I could've come up with that — and I'm an idiot.

Proof of that: I'll admit this episode kept me guessing; I had no idea it was the construction boss all along. read more

Wings Star Gets Kissed Off


Although he's appeared in a number of movies, including Tombstone and George of the Jungle, Thomas Haden Church is still best known as "That Guy from Wings." For five years, Church kept viewers in stitches as Nantucket Airport's resident eccentric, Lowell Mather. Now he's doing the same thing on the big screen in Sideways, the touching and hilarious road movie from director Alexander Payne (Election).

Church plays Jack, a self-absorbed, aging TV star whose career has been on the decline for some time. Hmm... did the role remind Church of anybody in particular? "I didn't really base my performance on anyone," the 43-year-old actor demurs, "but in 15 years of being in and out of Los Angeles, I certainly know a lot of guys like Jack.

"I remember when I moved to L.A. in 1989, I immediately got cast in a TV movie called To Protect and Surf," Church continues. "We were cops on the beach with cool hair and guns. I w read more

Seven Silly Questions For... Elvira


This time of year, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, is as busy as Santa Claus at Christmas. On Saturday she hosts Hollywood's Creepiest Creatures (8 pm/ET on Animal Planet) and Elvira's Movies to Die For marathon (from noon until 10 pm on Lifetime). Then, on Halloween, she's back at it, scaring up more cheap thrills for Lifetime (from 11 am/ET until 9 pm) and introducing a scream-queen-themed episode of The E! True Hollywood Story (8 pm). Yet unlike press-shy Kris Kringle, Elvira's real-life alter ego, funny lady Cassandra Peterson, always makes time for her admirers. Heck, she even agreed to channel her vampy, campy counterpart to answer TV Guide Online's Seven (Frightfully) Silly Questions. So be afraid... be very afraid.

TV Guide Online: Have you ever tried to get the Dark to make an honest woman of you — you know, so you could be, like, Wife of the Dark instead of just the mistress?
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark:
read more

COURT REPORT

German singing sensation David Hasselhoff pleaded no-contest Thursday to a drunk-driving charge and was ordered to enter alcohol rehab for six months. Hasselhoff was arrested for DUI after being stopped in Los Angeles in June. Also on Thursday, actor Rip Torn (The Larry Sanders Show) was found not guilty of drunk driving after jurors determined the testimony of the arresting officer was not believable. read more

Haunted Housewives' Secrets Revealed!


If we had a nickel for every time we thought we had figured out the deep, dark secret of Desperate Housewives' Mary Alice, we'd have enough coin to bribe the truth out of Brenda Strong, the actress who plays the quirky soap opera's first casualty. But since not even pennies fall during our "Eureka!" moments, we've had to crack the case the hard way — through good, old-fashioned guesswork. Care to review our notes and weigh in with your own opinion? Simply read the hypotheses below, then vote in today's TVGuide.com poll, and you, too, can feel like the biggest snoop this side of that busybody Mrs. Huber (Christine Estabrook)!

Mary Alice is actually in a coma. Yes, from Day 1 the serial of champions has been pulling a Dallas on us, and all of the bizarro goings-on to which we have thrilled have been nothing but a dream. What's more, Mary Alice doesn't even know her neighbors, she's only watched them from afar and imagined wha read more

PRECIOUS MINUTES

60 Minutes is about to make up for its botched report on Dubya's military record. Turns out Lesley Stahl was on the set of Saturday Night Live last weekend when Ashlee Simpson's "acid reflux" kicked in. Not only did she catch the lip-syncin' teenybopper's embarrassing exit on tape, but she also recorded reaction from exec producer Lorne Michaels and other shocked staffers. All the juicy footage airs this Sunday. Can't wait! read more

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