Today's News: Our Take


TAKE THIS JOB AND...

With his latest run for president DOA, Rev. Al Sharpton is proceeding with Plan B. He'll serve as one of two "life counselors" on Spike TV's I Hate My Job, an eight-episode reality series (debuting this fall) that follows a group of men as they quit their loser jobs and embark on career makeovers. "I'm the working man's [Donald] Trump," Sharpton says. "He brings people into the penthouse. We bring them into the house." What house? Is there an address? Sounds like a trap. read more

BABY HOAX

On Monday, TV Guide Online — as well as The Associated Press, USA Today and the Washington Post — reported that actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton welcomed their first child over the weekend. Turns out it was all just a hoax. The couple's son, Billy Ray, was actually born last October. On the bright side, no one really cares about this anyway. read more

HEEEEEERE'S ALF!

TV Land has tapped former sitcom star Gordon Shumway to host Alf's Hit Talk Show, a half-hour special slated to air July 7. The furry Melmac native will be joined by legendary late-night sidekick Ed McMahon, as well as guests Dennis Franz, Drew Carey and TV Guide Channel's very own Joan Rivers. Ladies and gentleman, let's here it for my new colleague Joan Rivers! read more

TAG, YOU'RE IT!

Eddie Cahill — best known as Rachel's assistant-turned-boyfriend Tag on Friends — has joined the cast of CSI: NY. He'll play a sexy young homicide detective opposite Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes. read more

APOLOGY ACCEPTED?

A woman charged with stalking Catherine Zeta-Jones has written the T-Mobile pitchwoman a letter apologizing for "any distress" she caused her, adding "it would be a wonderful good deed if you would all forgive me." Dawnette Knight's lawyer, Richard Herman, insists that his client would never harm anyone. "The worst thing she has ever been accused of was killing her ex-boyfriend's goldfish," he says, "and she says she's innocent of that." However, rumor has it the prosecution has a snapshot of Knight wiping tartar sauce from her mouth shortly after the little guy's disappearance. read more

DENNIS THE MENACE

Actor Dennis Hopper says his career has been a failure. In an interview on tonight's 60 Minutes, the Easy Rider thesp says, "I never felt I played the great part... I never felt that I directed the great movie and I can't say that it's anybody's fault but my own." What was Hopper's low point? My money's on Firestarter 2: Rekindled. read more

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

Five months after Clear Channel pulled the plug, Howard Stern's radio show will be back on the air in Rochester, Orlando, Pittsburgh and San Diego beginning July 19. The program will now air on Infinity-owned stations. read more

The Jury Since the producers of...

The Jury
Since the producers of this show also made HBO's Oz, they pulled a neat trick: Cast 12 memorable Oz alums to play this week's jury — in a death-penalty case about a prison chaplain's murder during a jailhouse riot. Father Wallace was whacked upside his head (several times) with a folding chair. Ouch! Of course, that's a fairly ho-hum demise compared with the "Did we shock you?" slayings on Oz. Anyway, The Jury's accused guy did it with malicious intent, although we're invited to feel sorry for him because he was wrongly convicted and jailed in the first place. Guess prison really hardened him. But honestly, I feel the same way I did the first time I watched The Jury. The whodunit aspect of the case is less interesting than the jury-room dramatics. It was great to see Broadway baby Betty Buckley again, bickering along with other Oz faves like Eamonn Walker and Jon Seda. (I especially realiz read more

SAFE BET

Beyonce and her rapper-beau Jay-Z were the big winners at last night's 2004 BET Awards, claiming separate awards for best female R&B artist and top male hip-hop artist, and a shared trophy for their hit "Crazy in Love." OutKast was also a multiple winner, picking up honors for video of the year and best group. read more

HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED

Wizards and muggles alike, take note! Author J.K. Rowling has conjured up a title for her sixth Harry Potter novel: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. She's also spilled some tantalizing plot clues on her official Web site. "The Half Blood Prince is neither Harry nor Voldemort," Rowling wrote, "and that's all I'm saying on that subject until the book's published." What a tease. read more

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