Today's News: Our Take

Question: I love this column ...

Question: I love this column and your news column! You are hilarious! Note to those who don't like it — don't read it! — Kristen

Ausiello: And Kristen!

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Question: I read that Keri ...

Question: I read that Keri and Nathan Lane were doing a movie called Cabbages and Queens, but suddenly it's been removed from and I can't find any new information about it. What happened? — Maureen

Ausiello: Sadly, the financing fell through. Hey, one more note on Ms. Russell: Check out the Nov. 14 issue of TV Guide magazine (on sale 11/11) for some "TV News" scoopage about an exciting new project she may have in the pipeline.

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Question: Hey Michael, you ...

Question: Hey Michael, you don't need a CVS pharmacy if you were stranded on an island ("Ask Ausiello" 10/27). You just need me — I work at one. — Jennifer Baldwin

Ausiello: Are you the one who came up with Rapid Refill? If so, you're a genius.

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Question: Despite the Smurf ...

Question: Despite the Smurf collection, I have to admit I have a bit of a crush on you. — Kathy

Ausiello: Despite my Smurf collection? Despite?!?! Tell your brother Gargamel I said hello.

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Question: I just read your ...

Question: I just read your section for the first time and I must admit, you are a very funny guy. Not quite sure what all the Smurf talk is about but... — Trish

Ausiello: Be patient, Trish. Soon it'll all make perfect sense.

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Question: When Desperate ...

Question: When Desperate Housewives began, Felicity Huffman's character had four children. Why are we now only seeing the twins? Have they written the other kids out? — Peggy

Ausiello: No, they're still there. I'm told producers are just focusing on the twins since they are the problem children. Personally, I just find them — and any scene they're in — utterly unwatchable.

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Question: So now that you ...

Question: So now that you not-so-subtly listed your birthday, what gifts are you hoping will be sent your way next year? — Robert

Ausiello: Actually, in lieu of gifts, I'm asking that folks make a donation to one of my three favorite charities: The Anita Laptop Fund, the Ivana Wickedtix Center and the I.M. Jonesingforanipod Health Initiative. All contributions are tax-deductible.

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Question: Who do you think ...

Question: Who do you think Lorelai will choose on Gilmore Girls: Luke or Christopher? And hey, if you've got any "pull" with Amy Sherman-Palladino, tell her we're holding our breath for another Kirk cinema piece. That was priceless! — Shellee

Ausiello: Considering that David Sutcliffe (aka Christopher) is only gonna be around for eight episodes this season, I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict she'll choose Luke. And I can't agree with you more about Kirk's theater night. A soy crisp almost came flying outta my nose when I saw him making out with Lulu behind the projector.

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Question: I wanted to let you ...

Question: I wanted to let you know that you had me at Snapple. I found myself cracking up at work while reading your dispatches. Now I am happy to read the same smart and funny quick wit in "Ask Ausiello." Good luck and higher pay to you. — Ash B.

Ausiello: Hey Brendan: Ash likes me, too!

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Question: Since you were so ...

Question: Since you were so instrumental in getting Mariska nominated for an Emmy this year, could you please throw your support behind Kelly Bishop! That woman is genius as Emily on Gilmore Girls. Oh, and that dreamy (and talented) Matthew Fox of Lost deserves a nomination, too! — David

Ausiello: I couldn't agree with you more on both counts — especially Bishop, who may actually have a shot next year since Sex and the City's farewell opens up three slots in the supporting-actress category. Let's hope the other two vacancies get filled by Arrested Development's Jessica Walter and Scrubs' Judy Reyes.

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