Today's News: Our Take


LOVE SPRINGS ETERNAL?

Word that Brad Garrett is developing a comedy series with HBO would seem to rule out a possible Everybody Loves Raymond spin-off centered around his character, right? Wrong. Although CBS declined to comment, sources close to the negotiations insist Everybody Likes Robert is not dead, and add that the cable deal is "still in the discussion stage." Meanwhile, Garrett's manager, Glenn Robbins, denies talk that the HBO project is a ploy to force CBS's hand: "I can tell you for sure it's not a ploy," he says. "It's very real." A very real ploy? read more

BUSINESS AS USUAL

Feuding ex-tour mates Jay-Z and R. Kelly have some Unfinished Business on Billboard's album chart. Amid pricey lawsuits and nasty character assassinations, their CD debuted at No. 1 with sales of 215,000 copies. Now kiss and make up already. Or at the very least, cuddle. read more

SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT?

Elton John is halting his late-life crisis long enough to develop a comedy series for ABC. According to Variety, Mr. Cranky Pants has sold the network on a sitcom pilot that revolves around an aging rock star and the poor, beleaguered souls around him. "It's not about me, but about everybody we've encountered over the past 30 years," he says. "We've met every star and seen every misbehavior. And it's about the people around the star, who have to put up with them." But it's not about him. Really. read more

Lost How addicted am I to Lost?...

Lost
How addicted am I to Lost? So addicted that I'll even forgive J.J. Abrams & Co. the cheesy moth symbolism that they not-so-subtly slipped into this week's episode. We get it, guys: Charlie has to make himself quit heroin in the same way a moth has to free itself from its own cocoon — that's very Metaphors 101 of you. Still, it was nice to see an episode devoted to young Master Monaghan, who, along with Terry "Piggy" O'Quinn, plays one of the more intriguing characters in this large cast. I especially liked the reveal that Driveshaft was basically Oasis with a better hit single. Charlie's brother was even named Liam, for crying out loud! Elsewhere, Jack and Kate inch ever closer to couplehood... or at least a midnight booty call. You know, I understand that we're supposed to root for these two to hook up because they're the "heroes" of the show, but honestly, Evangeline Lilly strikes more sparks with Naveen read more

BLIND WITNESS

A California man was arrested for rape and kidnapping after appearing on Blind Date last month. Ulrick Kevin White, 31 — who went by the nickname "Aswah" on air — was identified by a female viewer who says White attacked her in September 2003. Turns out he's also awaiting trial for allegedly breaking into another woman's home last year. And you thought American Idol's prescreeners were asleep at the wheel. read more

Question: Do you know when ...

Question: Do you know when Alias' season premiere will be? — Cindi

Ausiello: It's still slated to return in January, but the time slot remains an open question — even to J.J. Abrams. "ABC is contemplating what the best spot for it is," he told me Friday. When I suggested Wednesday at 9 pm following his other baby, Lost, he said, "I would be thrilled with that."

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Question: A major character ...

Question: A major character is going to get whacked on Desperate Housewives? Who, Michael, who? For the love of all that is holy this had better not turn out like that huge tease Melrose Place had years back when they promised two people on the show would die and it was a plumber and someone no one gave a crap about. Any clues? Please, please please? I'm begging you, Michael. I must know! — Poodle McClure

Ausiello: ABC has sworn me to secrecy about which Wisterian is getting offed later this month. But I suppose I could drop a teensy clue. (Warning: spoiler alert!) It's not — I repeat, it's not — Susan. ABC's gonna kill me. In related news, I think I just answered my first question from a drag queen.

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Question: Love your column! ...

Question: Love your column! How 'bout some scoop on the next season of Deadwood? Hearing anything about a premiere date? — Dave

Ausiello: Hey, this is a legitimate question — no fair! The second season is slated to kick off March 6 at 9 pm. And sorry, I got no scoopage. Save for getting Stacy Rotner to shut up, there's nothing harder than trying to get spoilers on an HBO show.

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Question: My friend and I ...

Question: My friend and I can't decide who we'd rather go out with more, you or Daniel Coleridge. — Benjamin

Ausiello: Congratulations, Benjamin! You're the winner of this week's "I can't believe you're asking me this. It's insulting, honestly. It's absolutely insulting" Award for the "Ask Ausiello" question with the most obvious answer! Please come forward to accept my autographed head shot!

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Question: Dude, I'm so there ...

Question: Dude, I'm so there with the Members Only entrance. If these people don't "get" your column, then I say keep 'em out! Say now, will members get a discount on Diet Raspberry Snapple? — Karen Jo

Ausiello: Let's not get greedy now, Kar.

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