Today's News: Our Take


RECOVERING

Rodney Dangerfield remains on a respirator in intensive care at UCLA Medical Center a week after undergoing heart-valve-replacement surgery. The 82-year-old comic is said to be in stable condition. read more

LUCKY GUY

It's turning out to be a good year for my girl Mariska Hargitay. Just two months after nabbing her first Emmy nod, Law & Order: SVU's incomparable leading lady married actor and sometime SVU costar Peter Hermann last Saturday in Santa Barbara. According to her spokeswoman, Hargitay wore a Carolina Herrera gown and was escorted down the aisle by her dad, Mickey Hargitay. And although her rep couldn't confirm it, extremely unreliable sources tell me that my invitation got lost in the mail. The restraining order, however, is being sent by special courier and should arrive any day now. read more

One-Hit Wonders This "I Love the...

One-Hit Wonders
This "I Love the Whatever-Decade"-style look at pop singers who hit and then missed and missed was completely redundant. Everything anyone ever needed to know about Right Said Fred and the top one-hit-wonder song "The Macarena" was in the recent '90s installment, without Sheryl Crow vainly attempting to master the deceptively simple dance. However, to see that "Mickey" singer Toni Basil still had a career choreographing commercials for the Gap should give some hope to American Idol grads who are sure to be featured on an updated version of this special in a few years.

Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon
This timeless Labor Day tradition continues, with a slightly stouter Jerry Lewis still raking in big bucks annually to help the needy souls who are suffering from this terrible disease. But this never-ending special needs some serious modernization. The names may have changed, but this telethon looks exactly read more

... IT POURS

More trouble for actor Tom Sizemore: The costar of CBS's fall drama dr. vegas had his probation revoked Thursday after he refused to provide a urine sample for a drug test. Sizemore was busted last month on a narcotics violation after probation officers discovered drugs in his Los Angeles residence during a random visit. read more

CHEW ON THIS

Britney Spears' used bubble gum is all the rage on eBay. According to reports, there are currently more than two dozen eBay auctions featuring gum that Spears allegedly chewed up and spit out. Many of the postings include a photo of the gum, as well as a story explaining how it was obtained. Prices range from $5 for a tiny piece of Trident to $100 for a wad of Strappleberry-flavored Juicy Fruit. And if you've tried the latter, you know it's worth every freakin' penny. read more

EXTRA! EXTRA!

All around the world, statues are crumbling at the news that Sugar Ray front man Mark McGrath is joining the showbiz newsmagazine Extra as its new co-host. Yeah, you read that correctly. The 36-year-old "Fly" boy will make his debut alongside current talking head Dayna Devon when the syndicated series kicks off its 11th season on Sept. 13. Now, let's all observe a moment of silence in memory of Mark McGrath's music career. read more

LUCKY GUY

It's turning out to be a good year for my girl Mariska Hargitay. Just two months after nabbing her first Emmy nod, Law & Order: SVU's incomparable leading lady married actor and sometime SVU costar Peter Hermann last Saturday in Santa Barbara. According to her spokeswoman, Hargitay wore a Carolina Herrera gown and was escorted down the aisle by her dad, Mickey Hargitay. And although her rep couldn't confirm it, extremely unreliable sources tell me that my invitation got lost in the mail. The restraining order, however, is being sent by special courier and should arrive any day now. read more

WORKING GIRL

CBS has tapped Melanie Griffith to star in Heartless, an original movie about a woman who uses, stalks, manipulates and kills men who either get in her way or leave her. (She's also a lawyer, but that kinda goes without saying.) According to The Hollywood Reporter, the telepic was inspired by the real-life story of Texas attorney Catherine Shelton, who was profiled on a recent 48 Hours. NYPD Blue's Esai Morales co-stars as an undercover reporter working as her assistant. read more

WHEN IT RAINS...

A report on tonight's Dateline NBC claims Michael Jackson fended off a second child-molestation accusation in 1990 by paying $2 million to the son of an employee at his Neverland Ranch. That would be in addition to the $15 million Jackson reportedly paid to his first accuser. "We always believed there were eight to 10 other children out there," former Santa Barbara sheriff Jim Thomas tells Dateline. read more

CHEW ON THIS

Britney Spears' used bubble gum is all the rage on eBay. According to reports, there are currently more than two dozen eBay auctions featuring gum that Spears allegedly chewed up and spit out. Many of the postings include a photo of the gum, as well as a story explaining how it was obtained. Prices range from $5 for a tiny piece of Trident to $100 for a wad of Strappleberry-flavored Juicy Fruit. And if you've tried the latter, you know it's worth every freakin' penny. read more

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