Today's News: Our Take

Question: I was wondering ...

Question: I was wondering when Hawaii comes back on in two weeks, what is going to happen to LAX? I really like both shows. — Carolyn

Ausiello: Oh, Carolyn, did no one tell you? (Deep breath) Come sit down with me. (Grabbing Carolyn's hand) I don't know how to say this so, um... I'm just gonna say it: They're gone, Carolyn. (She sobs) Hawaii died last month and LAX passed away over the weekend. (She wails) The doctors said their suffering was only going to get worse, so it's really for the best. (She faints) Carolyn? Carolyn? Someone call 911! (To be continued... )

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Question: Would you please ...

Question: Would you please tell me the name of the show about two sisters who were seamstresses in early England? — Donna

Ausiello: I know this one... it's on the tip of my tongue... wait... wait... wait... damn, I lost it.

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Question: What were you like ...

Question: What were you like in high school? — Cat

Ausiello: Fat.

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Question: Why is TV Guide ...

Question: Why is TV Guide paying you for being a cringe-inducing, painfully unfunny "columnist" who scans through pointless "questions" and answers them in one sentence? — Daniel

Ausiello: Rochell Thomas thinks it's because they feel sorry for me.

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Question: Are we there yet? ? ...

Question: Are we there yet? — Robb

Ausiello: Almost, Robb. Hang in there, big guy.

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Question: Why didn't Wes fire ...

Question: Why didn't Wes fire Maria's ass? — Holly

Ausiello: Here's what he said about Madame Blinky, Holly: "Where I'm from you can't really slap girls around. I'm a pretty nice, polite guy, and I took the high road. I think it was the only way to go. My mother would be proud... It's not like I put my tail between my legs and ran, but at the same time, I could have had a firmer hand in the matter. At the end of the day, I weighed my options: Keeping Maria productive or not, and in my mind as the Project Manager, I really needed her expertise. I needed her there."

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Question: "Astute Ausiello" ...

Question: "Astute Ausiello" or "Michael's Megaphone?" — Timothy

Ausiello: What does astute mean? And I don't much care for the second one. Next...

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Question: How about "Open ...

Question: How about "Open Mike?" — Sue Fox

Ausiello: Ladies and gentleman, I think we may have a winner! (The higher-ups were still mulling it over at "press" time, Sue. If they end up going with it, there's a copy of TV Guide's handy new tube bible Guide to TV headed your way. In case you haven't heard, it's the most definitive encyclopedia of television that you can buy.

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Question: WE is no longer ...

Question: WE is no longer showing old episodes of Felicity. Do you know where I can catch any? — Shay

Ausiello: They air every Saturday night from 8 to 11 at my apartment. Otherwise, you'll have to buy the DVDs.

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Question: Who are your top ...

Question: Who are your top five television couples of all time? — Latoria

Ausiello: Good question. Let's see... Eden and Cruz, Felicity and Ben, Maggie and Richard, Eve and Nick and Roseanne and Dan.

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