Today's News: Our Take


WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE...

Let's play a little game called "What show am I referring to?" Sounds like fun, right? Alright, here we go: In a 10-year-old internal NBC research report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Peacock execs trashed one of their sitcoms as "not very entertaining, clever or original," dissed the show's stars and noted that test audiences "found the characters smug, superficial and self-absorbed." So, what show am I referring to? "Suddenly Susan?" Nope. "Veronica's Closet?" Try again. "Caroline in the City?" You're getting closer. "No... it couldn't be... Friends???" Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Wasn't that fun?! read more

SHORT CUTS

The first season of Northern Exposure arrives on DVD May 25, USA Today reports... Usher's Confessions reclaimed the top spot on Billboard's album chart with sales of 267,000 copies. read more

DOINK DOINK

NBC has renewed all three Law & Order shows — that's the original, SVU and Criminal Intent — for two more years, through the 2005-06 season. The network has also officially given producer Dick Wolf the green light for a fourth edition — Law & Order: Trial by Jury, which will likely debut at midseason. read more

TUESDAY RATINGS

Roughly 14.5 million viewers revisited The Dick Van Dyke Show, giving CBS its best Tuesday since December. Still, Fox ruled the night with its combo of American Idol (23.2 million) and 24 (12 million), the latter of which notched its best numbers of the season. And the WB's One Tree Hill ended its freshman year on a high note, scoring its best marks ever among young adults. read more

SERIOUSLY, THIS IS FUNNY

How far will two straight guys go to pass as gay? We're gonna find out on June 7 when Fox airs Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay, a two-hour reality special that follows two heteros as they immerse themselves in "the gay lifestyle," all to convince a panel of judges that they bat for the other team. The most convincing "gay guy" walks off with $50,000 and an on-air gig at VH1, E! Entertainment Television or CNN. read more

MOORE THE MERRIER

Disney has reportedly given Miramax chiefs Bob and Harvey Weinstein the go-ahead to buy back Michael Moore's controversial anti-Dubya doc, Fahrenheit 9/11, clearing the way for the pair to release it through a new distributor. As previously reported, the Mouse House refused to release the pic on the grounds that it "was not appropriate for Disney, a family entertainment company, to be the distributor of a politically charged movie in an election year." read more

BREAKING NEWS...

Just when Tom Brokaw was out, they pulled him back in. The venerable newsman, who will step down as anchor of NBC's Nightly News on Dec. 1, has signed a new 10-year contract with the network. The deal largely calls for him to produce-narrate documentaries and sit around reminiscing about the good ol' days. read more

Smallville Oh yeah, like Clark's...

Smallville
Oh yeah, like Clark's secret would have kept Lana from running off to Paris. Please, child would be racing to Smallville International in a skipped heartbeat if she heard her Abercrombie-worthy crush was actually an alien. With superpowers. Not that he even got to spill the beans, seeing how that nutjob who took over the Talon kidnapped little Miss Lang, who, I'm sorry, totally got what she deserved. Whenever some googly-eyed misfit who sounds like Jean Kasem on really good herb says that she wants to be your best friend, it is so time to run the other way, OK? And I know that everyone is all gaga over Kristin Kreuk. She's adorable. So why does she remind me so much of that elf Muppet from The Dark Crystal?

The Mentalist
Psychics, magicians, "mystifiers." Whatever you want to call 'em, they're just plain weird. John Edward, he's a little too slick, you know? David Blaine? Ew. Might as we read more

Carol Burnett's Reunion Fever


Funnylady Carol Burnett loves to relive memories of her classic 1967-78 variety show in charming (and highly rated) CBS specials. Tonight at 10 pm/ET, she's doing Let's Bump Up the Lights, a different kind of salute to her sketchcom, which also serves as a reunion special for former castmates Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence, Harvey Korman and Lyle Waggoner.

OK, they've done the 25th anniversary show. In 2001, they did an outtakes special called Showstoppers. What's left? Bump winds up what Burnett sees as her Carol Burnett Show reunion trilogy. "A very big section of our show was questions and answers, where I came out at the top of the show," she recalls. "We never had a plant in the audience. I never knew what anybody was going to ask and I didn't know what I was going to answer. So what we did with [Bump] was try to find the funniest clips of the Q&As, but also get the whole gang together and tak read more

Amber: "Rob Deserves the $1 Million!"

Amber Brkich won really big at Sunday's Survivor: All-Stars finale. Not only did she beat Boston Rob for the $1-million prize, but her Beantown beau also proposed on national TV. While many fans think the grumpy jury chose wrongly, this giddy 25-year-old is clearly delighted with the verdict. Here, she tells TV Guide Online about tasting victory, the surprise engagement (and that huge rock!) as well as what her family really thinks of her new fianc&#233.

TV Guide Online: Has it sunk in yet that you've won $1 million?
Amber Brkich:
It started sinking in on [Monday] night, and then I actually got some rest. So now, I'm actually getting excited about it because I'm much more awake. It is weird because I really have no clue how much a million dollars is. That is a huge sum of money, so it is hard to really fathom. But I'm really excited!

TVGO: Have you had chance to decide when and where you'll marry Rob?
Amber:
No, read more

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