Today's News: Our Take


BREAKING HIS SILENCE

Reclusive rocker Bob Dylan will open up about his life and four-decade career in a memoir published this fall. Chronicles: Volume One, the first of a planned three-book series, is being described as a first-person narrative from the 63-year-old music icon. Let's hope the unintelligible singer doesn't plan on doing the audio book. read more

THREE FOR THE ROAD

CBS has ordered a comedy pilot from former Friends showrunners Andrew Reich and Ted Cohen. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the project — titled Three — revolves around a happily married couple and their recently divorced male friend. They should have just called it Third Wheel, 'cause, let's face facts, that's what the dude is. read more

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

Fans of a certain Saturday Night Live alumna can simma don na. SNL is at long last airing a Best Of Cheri Oteri special on Saturday, Sept. 4 (11:30 pm/ET). The 90-minute guffawfest will showcase such classic Oteri characters as Arianna the Spartan Spirit Cheerleader; prescription-addled Collette Reardon; Morning Latte ditz Cass Van Ry and, my personal fave, Rita "I keep it!" Del Vecchio. Prepare to wet yourself. read more

SAD NEWS

Emmy-winning film director Daniel Petrie Sr. (A Raisin in the Sun, Sybil, Inherit the Wind) has died of cancer in Los Angeles. He was 83. "[Petrie] was known for his kind and thoughtful nature, but when it came to defending the economic and creative rights for [Directors Guild of America] members, Dan was one the toughest leaders at the negotiation table," said DGA president Michael Apted. "We will miss him greatly." read more

Daniel's Olympics Crush of the...

Daniel's Olympics Crush of the Night
Last week, I was mad for swimmer Michael Phelps. But my fickle heart has already moved on... to Kazakhstan's track-and-field stud Dimitriy Karpov. He only earned the bronze medal in the men's decathlon, but this dude looked so good hurling a discus, he wins a gold star from me!

Big Brother 5
So Nakomis (the Goth Girl formerly known as Jennifer) was wearing a camouflage trucker cap that — combined with the pink hair and her ratty wardrobe — made her look deeply ridiculous. Miss Head of Household was also on the warpath because Will the gay guy was evicted last week. Strange how Adria and Natalie compared Will's influence on his loyal housemates to that of Charles Manson over his murderous cult followers. That comment was idiotic and in very poor taste. Honestly, I can't tell which twin said it, but the other agreed — and these ignorant sisters a read more

BB5's Gay Guy: He's Out!

Paging an optometrist, stat! Big Brother 5's token gay guy, Will Wikle, has suffered major visual trauma. First, he was seeing double (and then he was seeing red) when Project DNA backfired on him. Evil twin Adria conspired with her identical sister, Natalie, to evict the 26-year-old Mississippian registered nurse (and life of the party) from the house. Before being sequestered, Will dished his adventure with TV Guide Online, including his true opinion of those sneaky siblings

TVGO: What did you think of the twin twist?
Will Wikle:
It explained a lot at first. Of course now I regret it and I wish them all the bad luck in the world.

TVGO: Will you ever eat PB&J again?
Will:
I actually didn't mind peanut butter going into the house all that much. Not only will I continue to eat it, but I will also keep cans of it around for sentimental value.

TVGO: It seems to have gotten very cutthroat in the house R read more

SCARY MOVIE

Universal has recruited Keenan Ivory, Shawn and Marlon Wayans to write and produce a big-screen update of the classic tube series The Munsters. There's no word on casting, but I think Brad Garrett and RuPaul would make a great Herman and Lily. What do you think? read more

PAGING ORSON WELLES...

Martians are coming to Everwood! Actually, it's just Anne Heche (née Celestia), who is joining the WB drama as a series regular this season. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the Emmy-winning actress will play a love interest for star Treat Williams. In related news, Everwood producers are at last ditching the show's painfully earnest voice-over narration. But they're not shooting the messenger, John Beasley, who will keep his day job as good-hearted bus driver Irv Harper. "We love John Beasley," executive producer Rina Mimoun tells TV Guide. "He's staying." read more

Spin-Off Advice for Matt LeBlanc

As Friends star Matt LeBlanc gets ready to launch Joey (Sept. 9 on NBC), we thought he could use some expert advice from stars of past spin-offs. After all, many actors from hit shows have spun well (Frasier), while others just plain rolled off a cliff (The Lone Gunmen). Here's what they had to say, Matt, so listen good!

Peri Gilpin
Spin-off: Frasier
Spun from: Cheers
"With a spin-off, you can't hide. [The network and the writers] know what you're thinking before you even think it. You can't even go to the bathroom without someone saying, 'I need you to come fit this costume.' You're joining a family that already exists, with its own rhythm."

Dean Haglund
Spin-off: The Lone Gunmen
Spun from: The X-Files
"There are three things to look for if your spin-off is in trouble: If TV Guide compares you to Joanie Loves Chachi; if the press refer read more

JACKO UPDATE

The judge in the Michael Jackson case tentatively agreed on Monday to allow 39 items seized at Neverland Ranch last year to be admitted into evidence. At least a dozen other items may be suppressed. Sadly, because the items are identified only by numbers, there's no way of knowing what they are. That said, sources tell me No. 16 is an assortment of heavily played-with Finding Nemo finger puppets. read more

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