Today's News: Our Take


GAG ALERT

View hostess Star Jones and fiancé Al Scales Reynolds have created a website (starandal.com) devoted to their upcoming nuptials. The online shrine features a recap of their love story, a photo album, a selection of their favorite scriptures and enough cheese to choke a horse. Portions of the site — including the gift registry and specifics about the time and place of the ceremony — are password-protected. To crack the code, you must figure out the answer to the question, "What is Star and Al's secret to their love?" To save you some time, I already tried "a good publicist," "aversion therapy" and "rapid weight loss" — none of which worked. read more

LONESOME DOVES

Tom Hanks and Julianne Moore have signed on to star in Boone's Lick, a big-screen adaptation of Larry McMurtry's Western love story, Variety reports. Lasse Hallstrom (Cider House Rules) is in talks to direct. In other movie news, actor-producer Morgan Freeman is partnering with DreamWorks to make a film about the first black armored unit to enter combat during World War II, according to The Hollywood Reporter. read more

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN AGE 25-54

With his music career on life support, what's Michael Bolton to do? Host his own daytime talk show, of course! According to The Hollywood Reporter, the '90s crooner is shopping the project to potential syndicators with the aim of getting it on the air in fall 2005 or when hell freezes over — whichever comes first. read more

The Shield This third-season finale...

The Shield
This third-season finale certainly didn't disappoint. Most Shield fans — and even some cast members — thought Det. Vic Mackey might whack one of his disloyal Strike Team cronies. As we saw, Lem admitted to feeling "nervous" about meeting Vic, Shane and Ronnie on that dead-end road. Who wouldn't be ulcerous in the gut after altruistically torching their ill-gotten gains? These guys had viciously connived and killed for that blood money, making already dirty cash so much filthier. Even I smarted at learning the $3-million Armenian money train was reduced to merely $195,000 — and I don't even have a piece of the action!

So it turns out Vic needs Lem alive, since Aceveda declared there's no more Strike Team if he leaves. Then, Shane risked his hide by telling that to Lem — shattering any last remaining illusions about the team's friendship — and mouthing off read more

END QUOTE

"I don't answer sexual questions. I'm a virgin. [Laughs] If Britney can say it, I can say it." &#151Nicole Richie, talking sex in the July issue of Stuff magazine. read more

TONE-DEAF IN THE USA

In last night's cacophonous (and oh-so anticlimactic) Superstar USA finale, bubbly blond Jamie squeaked (and yowled and shrieked) past runners-up Rosa and Mario to win the American Idol lampoon's top prize — the chance to be humiliated on national television as the country's worst vocalist. For our exclusive interview with reality television's newest star, click here. But first, a quick round of applause for Entertainment News contributor Ben Katner for working cacophonous into a sentence. read more

LEAP FROG

Ten-year WB vet Jordan Levin is out as the Frog net's CEO. Levin — coming off one of WB's worst years ever — bolted after he was asked to take on a reduced role. WB chairman Garth Ancier will now run the network on his own. Six Feet Under producer David Janollari, meanwhile, has been named WB's new entertainment president. read more

LISTEN UP, BUFFY FANS

The new issue of TV Guide magazine — on sale Thursday — features some major Buffy the Vampire Slayer scoopage. Here's a hint: The item appears on page 14 directly under the photo of a certain dark-haired hottie. read more

TRACE FOUND ON DVD

Without a Trace: The Complete First Season will turn up on DVD Sept. 7 and include such extras as unaired scenes, a special expanded season finale and two featurettes that go behind the scenes of the hit CBS drama. read more

Superstar Jamie Squeals!

Last night, WB's marvelously mean-spirited American Idol parody, Superstar USA, crowned Jessica Simpson lookalike Jamie Foss its winner... meaning that she makes Britney Spears sound like Barbra Streisand. Once the buxom blond recovered from learning that her larynx is considered a lethal weapon in every state but denial (and had jokes like that one explained to her), she was ready to meet the press, starting with TV Guide Online. So, are you ready for Jamie? Read on and find out!

TV Guide Online: So, Jamie, now that you know the show made a laughingstock of you, do you even want to do this interview?
Jamie:
Of course I do! I'm very happy with the outcome. Seriously, I do not care at all that it was a joke. This is just, like, an unbelievable experience!

TVGO: Well, okay! Did you start to suspect that you were the victim of a hoax during your duet with runner-up Mario?
Jamie:
When I heard Mario sing, I w read more

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