Today's News: Our Take


Question: Here's an answer ...

Question: Here's an answer and a correction to two questions from last week's Ask Ausiello. The Sister Seamstress show was called The House of Eliott and She-ra was not He-man's cousin but his long lost twin sister. Hey, I could be your assistant! You'll do the "funny" stuff and I'll do the actual work. I just need a green card. — Ismail

Ausiello: Promise never to call me a two-dollar elephant ho? If so, you're hired. Now, how familiar are you with 45th Street Cleaners?

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MUZZLE 'IM!

With friends like Elton John, do soccer-stud David Beckham and wife Victoria (the Spice formerly known as Posh) really need enemies? The perpetually disgruntled godfather of the couple's two sons has told England's Heat magazine that their marital troubles were all the fault of the missus. (In his opinion, she should have moved with the Real Madrid player when he relocated to Spain.) Wanna bet we now stand a better chance of being named godfather of the pair's third child (due, um, out in March) than ol' blabbermouth? read more

LAW & ORDER: MATERNITY WARD?

Although rumors have been running rampant that Law & Order: SVU star Mariska Hargitay is expecting, the stork will not be making a cameo on the hit drama... at least not yet. The newlywed actress (whose hubby is frequent SVU guest attorney Peter Hermann) told your regular columnist, Michael Ausiello, through her rep that she isn't with child, but "I hope to be soon." In other words, Ice-T might want to get cracking on those baby booties. read more

Question: If you ever need a ...

Question: If you ever need a sub to write for you when you're sick, give me a holla. I have a soft spot for Keri and Mariska and I can make fun of people at the drop of a hat. I already have the words "elephant" and "two-dollar ho" combined for one possible insult. — Ryan

Ausiello: If that's a crack about my obesity-riddled childhood, I'm not laughing.

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ROYAL PAIN

Prince Harry's entry into Britain's Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst, has been delayed from January to May. The reason, according to pop Prince Charles' office, is a knee injury from which Wills' less attractive younger brother has yet to fully recover. Which is not to be confused with the hangnail we suspect he'll develop once this boo-boo is all better. read more

Survivor Chick Fried


Last week, the all-female alliance on Survivor: Vanuatu finally cracked. Chris, the last man standing, ganged up with older gals Twila and Scout as well as the unpopular Eliza to vote off Leann Slaby. It was a smart and shocking move Leann never saw coming. In fact, the overconfident 35-year-old even appeared to give up during an immunity challenge (the one where they teamed with friends or family), thinking she was totally safe. Here, Leann dishes her downfall with TV Guide Online, including her part in the chicken-bone incident.

TVGO: Did you first learn who'd voted against you by watching the episode? At tribal council, you seemed baffled. You even thought your alliance-mate, Ami, turned on you!
Leann:
Yeah. I saw [the episode] for sure, but I knew. It took me a while to sift through it in my head, but I knew it wasn't Ami. The only reason that I questioned Ami for a moment was because I was sitting behind her read more

JUSTICE IS BLIND

And deaf. And also apparently kinda stupid. Yesterday, a jury of ex-Navy diver Ambrose Kappos' peers acquitted him of stalking Grammy-winning hottie Sheryl Crow. In and of itself, that doesn't sound so bad, right? But the panelists were made aware that Kappos (who broke into a ballroom where the object of his affection was rehearsing for a benefit) drinks two gallons of water a day so that he can communicate telepathically with the singer. At the very least, shouldn't the guy have been convicted of a lesser charge, like, say, being a total freak? read more

Question: What show will Yes ...

Question: What show will Yes Dear replace when it returns at mid-season? — Bobby

Ausiello: One likely scenario has it replacing Center of the Universe on Wednesdays at 9:30 pm following King of Queens. Of course, that could change should Universe suddenly become watchable. (Cue laugh track.)

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Brenda Blethyn's Broadway Dreams


Since her breakout role in 1996's Secrets & Lies, Brenda Blethyn has found steady work in both British and American films. Next up, she appears in Kevin Spacey's Beyond the Sea as '50s crooner Bobby Darin's mother. Despite her big-screen success, this theater veteran's heart still belongs to the stage.

"I love the theater," says the 58-year-old actress, who's currently headlining with Sopranos star Edie Falco on Broadway in a revival of Marsha Norman's acclaimed play 'night, Mother. "The show is going fabulously well. We've had a standing ovation every single performance, except for one when the air-conditioning was up too high. There's a lot of laughter. You'd be forgiven for thinking it was a comedy — and then you hear it kind of turn. It's just a wonderful play."

The Broadway gig is a dream come true for Blethyn, a regular fixture on the London stage since the '70s, when she joined the pre read more

IN YOUR FACE, MOTHRA!

On Monday, Japan's most popular export, Godzilla, was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Still no word, though, on when the leapin' lizard will begin playing the heretofore unseen monster in the jungle on Lost. read more

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