Today's News: Our Take


OPRAH GETS DESPERATE

Speaking of Oprah, the newly-svelte daytime queen revealed at press tour that she spent last Friday night shooting a Desperate Housewives parody written specifically for her by series creator Marc Cherry. It'll air on her talk show Feb. 3. "I go to [Susan's] house and see her falling in the [bushes]," Winfrey explained. "I go to Mike's house and find the money. I see Gabrielle and the gardener in the bed — it's outstanding." Asked which of the housewives she most identifies with, Winfrey said "none of the them," adding, "I can't believe you have a street with that many housewives and nobody has a butt. No-bo-dy. Who has a street with that many thin women?" read more

CLOSE CALL

Christian Slater survived a knife attack following a performance of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in London's West End on Friday. According to Scotland Yard, Slater was not injured in the attack as the knife "did not penetrate his skin but only his clothes." The suspect got away but the knife was recovered at the scene. read more

CHARMED, HE'S SURE

Despite ascending to Hollywood's B-plus-list, Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon has agreed to return to Charmed for the show's 150th episode this April. He'll reprise his role as Alyssa Milano's half-demon ex, Cole. "As busy as he is, as crazy as he is, and as big a star as he's become, it's just a testament to his graciousness that he would honor the fans and come back," says executive producer Brad Kern. For an exclusive interview with McMahon about his big Charmed comeback — and to find out what this means for Milano's Phoebe — read Ask Ausiello on Wednesday. read more

Quote of The Weekend: "Replacing...

Quote of The Weekend:
"Replacing [Dan] Rather with [Katie] Couric would be good for people who like the news but wish it contained more awkward flirting."
Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update.

SUNDAY

Numbers
Are we sick of the promos for this yet? Sometimes networks overdo it to the point where I feel like yelling at the TV, "Yeah, all right, I'll watch that damn thing, now just stop reminding me!" Anyway, earnest FBI agent Don Eppes (Rob Morrow) was after a serial rapist-turned-murderer and it was his mathematician brother, Charlie, (big-eyebrowed David Krumholtz) who finally helped him crack the case with a rather unwieldy equation. This was a pretty good show, especially the extra graphics and effects used to make deadly boring math mildly interesting. But it mostly made me think of two things:

  • With all the Law & Order and CSI
  • read more

    CODE CRACKERS

    French actress Audrey Tautou (Am&#233lie) will help Tom Hanks crack The Da Vinci Code in Ron Howard's forthcoming big-screen adaptation of the best-selling phenom. Tautou will costar as Sophie Neveu, the investigator who helps Robert Langdon (Hanks) figure out who's seated to the left of Jesus in "The Last Supper." read more

    IN RELATED NEWS...

    Punk'd prankster Ashton Kutcher is producing a new reality series for WB that promises to answer the age-old question: Can a looks-challenged nerd and a hot chick fall in love? Titled Beauty and the Geek, the show follows seven seemingly mismatched couples as they go through a series of mating competitions. "We're in the middle of shooting it right now," Kutcher told me at WB's TCA press tour party Saturday night. "It's funny and intriguing." But more importantly, really, really, really mean. read more

    YOU'RE HITCHED!

    Hoping the third time's the charm, Apprentice star Donald Trump married model Melania Knauss Saturday in a lavish, star-studded ceremony in Palm Beach, Fla. The 400 or so guests included morning-TV personalities (Matt Lauer, Katie Couric, Kelly Ripa, Regis Philbin), singers (Billy Joel, Tony Bennett), current and future reality stars (Simon Cowell, Mark Burnett, Kathy Hilton) and one outta control freebie queen (Star Jones Reynolds). read more

    KHAKI COUTURE

    Sarah Jessica Parker is falling further into The Gap. The Sex and the City star has signed on to promote the clothing giant's spring line, debuting in March. Meanwhile, Parker's onetime Sex co-star Kim Cattrall is telling anyone who'll listen that she's still open to making a Sex and the City movie — provided the script doesn't suck and the money is right. "We all worked very hard for six years," she tells Reuters, "all of us." And she's not talking about Stanford. read more

    CHARMED, HE'S SURE

    Despite ascending to Hollywood's B-plus-list, Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon has agreed to return to Charmed for the show's 150th episode this April. He'll reprise his role as Alyssa Milano's half-demon ex, Cole. "As busy as he is, as crazy as he is, and as big a star as he's become, it's just a testament to his graciousness that he would honor the fans and come back," says executive producer Brad Kern. For an exclusive interview with McMahon about his big Charmed comeback — and to find out what this means for Milano's Phoebe — read "Ask Ausiello" on Wednesday. read more

    NEXT STOP OSCAR?

    Martin Scorsese's The Aviator was named best film of the year Saturday from the Producers Guild of America. In 11 of the past 15 years, the PGA has honored films that went on to win the Academy Award for best picture. (Oscar nods are announced Tuesday.) On the TV side, it was an HBO sweep, with Angels in America taking the best TV movie prize and The Sopranos and Curb Your Enthusiasm winning for best drama and comedy series respectively. read more

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