Today's News: Our Take


HOT HOUSEWIVES

With 22.3 million viewers, Sunday's fresh episode of Desperate Housewives was the most-watched show of the week. Still, CBS — with eight of the Top 10 programs — came out on top with an average 12.6 million viewers. read more

RIDDLE ME THIS

What's sadder (read: funnier) than Apprentice 2 star Stacie J. putting her infamous Magic 8-Ball up for auction on her personal web log? Finding out that her highest bid — $1 million — came from Dr. Evil. Click here for all the depressing (read: hilarious) details. read more

DOG'S WORST FRIEND

American Pie star Natasha Lyonne was arrested Friday at her Manhattan home after she allegedly threatened her neighbor's dog. According to the New York Daily News, the actress — currently appearing in Blade: Trinity — burst into her nabe's third-floor apartment, grabbed and threatened the dog, and ripped a mirror off the wall. Sounds like someone's suffering from Jonathan Baker disease. read more

EXCLUSIVE!

Burt Reynolds will guest-star on CBS's The King of Queens during February sweeps as Doug's (Kevin James) former high school football coach. As reported in the new issue of TV Guide magazine (on sale tomorrow), James invited the former Evening Shade star to appear on the show after the two became fast friends working on the big-screen comedy Grilled. read more

MOVE OVER, BACON...

Another scandal is rocking Saturday Night Live — and this one promises to make that whole Ashlee Simpson brouhaha look like tabloid filler. Showbiz icon Miss Piggy claims Robert De Niro insulted her during rehearsals for last week's show, prompting her to pull out of a special Muppet-themed musical performance. "Moi was all set to appear on SNL with Kermie and Robert De Niro, until Mister Vous-Talkin'-to-Moi? told me I would have been perfect in his new movie Meet the Porkers," she tells TV Guide Online exclusively. "Needless to say, I stormed off the set, deeply offended... but willing to consider offers to appear in the sequel." This is probably a good time to point out that "Entertainment News" will be posting only sporadic news updates (some serious, others not so much) on Thursday and Friday in light of Santa Claus' impending arrival. Happy holidays! read more

CLARK UPDATE

Dick Clark, who continues to recover from a mild stroke, will remain hospitalized through Christmas and perhaps New Year's Eve, USA Today reports. As previously reported, Regis Philbin will be pinch-hitting for Clark on ABC's New Year's Rockin' Eve 2005. read more

FAT DEAL

Jenny Craig has tapped Hollywood's new plus-size poster girl, Kirstie Alley, as its new celeb spokeswoman. The upcoming Fat Actress star says she was approached by four other companies before settling on Jenny. "I wanted to go with the safest, most well-rounded, fun approach," Alley says. "And let's face it, Jenny Craig's food is hands-down the yummiest." And their checks the cashiest! read more

WILL IT BE LIVE?

Embattled pop star Ashlee Simpson will embark on her first solo tour in early '05. The tour kicks off Feb. 18 in Los Angeles and makes stops in Seattle, Denver, Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Dallas and Lipsyncville. read more

Question: Hey, I just read ...

Question: Hey, I just read "The Ausiello Report" in the new issue of TV Guide magazine and I was psyched to learn that Stephanie March is returning to Law & Order: SVU in February! Any chance she might stick around? — Geoffrey

Ausiello: Sadly, it's just for the one episode. But exec producer Neal Baer isn't ruling out another Alex Cabot sighting down the line, so keep your fingers crossed. (No worries, Mariska, you're still my favorite.)

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Question: South Park and Curb ...

Question: South Park and Curb Your Enthusiasm need to be in your Top 10! — Chad

Ausiello: They're Nos. 13 and 17 respectively.

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