Today's News: Our Take

Question: Besides planting ...

Question: Besides planting questions and slapping fake names on them, what else is beneath the dignity of this column (Ask Ausiello 3/30)? — Jason

Ausiello: Planting questions and slapping the names of fellow TV Guide staffers on them.

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Question: Do you still have ...

Question: Do you still have copies of your Short Cuts column that you used to write for the Daily Trojan? I loved that column! I had hoped that DT would have archived them online somewhere, since you're a famous alum and a credit to the school and all, but I couldn't find any. I was very disappointed. Next time they call me asking for donations, I am going to surely tell them exactly how disappointed I am. — Famin

Ausiello: Ahh... Short Cuts. That takes me back. For all you non-Trojans out there, Short Cuts was the first (and last) gossip column ever to grace the pages of the University of Southern California's student-run newspaper. It featured scuttlebutt on campus scandals (sex in the library stacks!), famous 'SC students (Joey Lawrence, Sophia Loren's son et al.), pop culture (The X-Files) and, well, me! Essentially, it was a precursor to Ask Ausiello. And to answer your question, Famin, yes, I do have copies of Short Cuts, b read more

Question: You said Greg ...

Question: You said Greg Grunberg will leave Alias if his pilot gets picked up. Didn't Greg Grunberg's pilot already get picked up by a carnivorous unidentified monster on Lost? — Ragan

Ausiello: Ladies and gentlemen, he's here all week!

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Question: Thank you for the ...

Question: Thank you for the Gilmore Girls cover story. I loved the gorgeous(!) picture of Luke, Lorelai, Logan and Rory on the opening spread. I'd hug you if I could. — GL

Ausiello: Isn't that picture fantastic?! I'm gonna see if the art department can print me out a nice color final to hang on the wall of my cubicle. It'll look great next to the handy list of synonyms for "scoop" and "dish" our copy editor, Kerri Griffith, forced on me last week.

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Question: I'm not sure if I'm ...

Question: I'm not sure if I'm famous or not. I was recently on the local news. My Q-rating must have doubled. I drive a Maxima with a smashed-in door and missing window. — Steven J Hall

Ausiello: Are you trying to be funny? Because I'm not laughing.

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Question: C'mon, man. Last ...

Question: C'mon, man. Last week there was very little information on Lost, 24 or The O.C. In fact, nothing. Can't you give us some spoilers or something? — Sean

Ausiello: Here's some scoop, er, buzz on 24: As Mary Lynn Rajskub hinted to AA last month, Chloe will go out into the field in Episode 19 and be forced to use a gun for the first time. And something will happen in the season finale that my 24 mole says "will change the show forever." Short of whacking Jack, I'm not sure what they could do to top blowing up the president of the United States. But I can't wait to find out!

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Question: Is Cameron going to ...

Question: Is Cameron going to come clean with Dr. House about her feelings for him? That would take House to a completely different level! — Katie

Ausiello: Let's just say the two may share an atypical date before the season is over and leave it at that, OK? OK.

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Question: Please tell me that ...

Question: Please tell me that the Rescue Me death you alluded to last week is just the metaphoric death. I love the show and don't want to see anyone go. — John

Ausiello: It's a real death — rigor mortis, maggots and all.

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Question: First off, I have ...

Question: First off, I have to say the end of Third Watch is a sad, sad thing. Any news on the series finale? I read somewhere that someone dies — do you know who? — Brittany

Ausiello: Yes, someone will make the ultimate sacrifice, but executive producer Ed Bernero is confident "everyone will agree that it's the person that should." The big news, however, is that Bernero has recruited some of the show's most popular alums — Eddie Cibrian, 24's Kim Raver, Aidan Quinn, among others — for the May 6 swan song. "The last act of the episode is going to be a look into the future," Bernero reveals. "We're going to see how everybody ends up." Here's a tip: Two main characters will end up husband and wife.

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Question: How come Marg ...

Question: How come Marg Helgenberger's kiss with Brad Johnson on CSI doesn't count as a "real" kiss? — Caroline

Ausiello: No tongue.

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