Question: Hi, Michael. Stay away from teenage boys. They're vulnerable between ages 11-19. And you're middle-age and a father. I hope you don't lose your children. I listened to your music when I was younger. If you stayed away from young boys, then maybe you wouldn't get into this kind of trouble anymore. I hope you're innocent. That's all I have to say. Bye. Nicole Yellig
Ausiello: It's e-mails like this that make me wonder what kind of people read this column. Thank god for free crap.
Question: What do you think ABC has planned for David James Elliott? Lucy
Ausiello: I predict he'll join one of ABC's existing shows, like Desperate Housewives or Boston Legal. That's just a hunch.
Question: It's time for a little tough love. You do realize, don't you, that there are a couple of other shows currently airing besides Lost, SVU, Scrubs, Desperate Housewives and Felicity oh, wait, Felicity isn't even currently airing! I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in thinking it might be nice if you occasionally threw a bone to people who watch, oh, I don't know, Veronica Mars or, if you're feeling truly adventurous, Battlestar Galactica. Not Keri
Question: No, the refusal to renew Enterprise isn't the Tribbles' fault (Entertainment News, 2/3). It's exec producer Rick Berman's, for being creatively bankrupt and unwilling to step aside for someone with a brain and a vision, like [fellow producer] Manny Coto. It's UPN's fault, for adamantly refusing to advertise the franchise that "launched a network." And it's Les Moonves's fault, for his hatred of science fiction in general and his contempt for anything he personally didn't invent. The sci-fi audience is there. The Trekkies are there. The quality is there. The show should not have been canceled. Evay
Ausiello: Hey, cut Rick, Les and UPN some slack. At least they were able to coax Next Generation vets Jonathan Frakes (Riker) and Marina Sirtis (Troi) to guest-star in the May 13 finale. That's worth something, right? And 18 consecutive years of st
Question: You wrote two weeks ago that an NBC rep confirmed that Jason Wiles (aka Bosco) will be on Third Watch through the rest of the season. However, the actual rumor states that he will be vacating the role after this season. You have to get these specifics, homey. Stay focused! Mike
Ausiello: Thanks for the pep talk, Mike! It's just what I needed!
Question: How long must I wait for an answer to my question about what the wonderful actress Elisabeth Rohm has been up to? This is the second week without one. Frank
Ausiello: I haven't replied because I honestly have no idea who you're talking about. The only Elisabeth Rohm I know is the one who nearly brought down the entire Law & Order franchise. Maybe we should open up this one to the room: Does anyone know to whom Frank is referring?
Question: Do you know anything about what's going on with Arrested Development's shortened season? And how will it affect Ben Stiller's scheduled guest-star appearance? Thanks! Stephanie
Ausiello: I'm afraid I have bad news: Fox has officially decided to only do 18 episodes this season, down from 22. Ben will appear in Episode 18, which is now the season finale. Meanwhile, Fox insists the show has not been canceled, but you may want to play it safe and start sending those frozen bananas to Gail Berman's office now.
Question: Did you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast every morning when you were a child to get this job? Julie Candy
Ausiello: You're close. I feasted on Smurf Berry Crunch. Hallelujah! (I'll stop now.)
Question: When is Kim coming back to 24? She's my favorite character! Rion
Ausiello: Well, that's something you don't hear every day. As I understand it, Fox was interested in having her return but there are no plans at the moment.
Question: Mike, please say you have some pull with Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Pallidino and can persuade (force) her to just step away from Melanie Griffith at all costs (Ask Ausiello 2/9). Mike Reyes
Ausiello: Hey, let's give ASP the benefit of the doubt, OK? I mean, look what she's done with Girls this season. In the meantime, do yourself a favor and rent Working Girl and Nobody's Fool. You'll be amazed what Melanie can do in the presence of good writers and directors.