Today's News: Our Take


REALITY CHECK

On last night's Survivor: Palau, solo act Stephenie LaGrossa was allowed to merge with Koror and tribe pouter Coby Archa got his flame snuffed. (Maybe the Aladdin Beauty College grad can rebound by mussing the hair of Jeff Wilson, the hottie whose injured ankle got him eliminated early on and who's just been added to the cast of The Young and the Restless.) Meanwhile, on The Apprentice, The Donald finally spat "You're fired!" at chaw fan Chris Shelton, the only guy on the tube who comes close to being as scary as Scott Savol. read more

PILOTS TAKE OFF

Hoping to follow in the footsteps of suddenly successful brother Jason, Justine Bateman is returning to the tube: She's a new addition to the UPN pilot currently called The Show with AJ Calloway. And according to Variety, Fox has ordered its first new fall series, Prison Break, about a guy who goes to jail to get his sibling off of death row. read more

WHEN BUSINESS MET PLEASURE

How to Make Love Like a Porn Star author Jenna Jameson has filed a suit against her publisher to keep the firm from cashing in on her in-the-works A&E reality show. Translation: She's already writing another book — How to Screw Your Business Partner Like a Porn Star. read more

SUNDAYDesperate Housewives Certainly...

SUNDAY

Desperate Housewives
Certainly not the funniest episode so far. That scene with Carlos physically forcing Gabrielle to sign the postnuptial agreement was DH's most disturbing scene to date. (Oh, c'mon, Mrs. Huber's strangling was not that bad.) Carlos instantly went from unpleasant, controlling husband to the show's reigning bastard. And John finally returned, just in time to provide a new mystery as to who will be the father if Gabrielle's "surprise" pregnancy actually happens.

In fact, this whole episode had a pervasive theme of violence and physical intimidation. From the police telling the remaining "Youngs" about the chopped-up woman found in the trunk to the shoving and throwing issues involving Susan's mother (Lesley Ann Warren) and stepfather (Bob Newhart) and, of course, Bree's spanking of little Porter Scavo.

And then there's Mrs. Huber's sister read more

MINI-BLADE?

A judge has issued a warrant for the arrest of Wesley Snipes. The Blade star was a no-show for a court-ordered DNA test to resolve a paternity suit with an Indiana woman who claims he's the father of her 2-year-old son. If that's not enough to ruin a man's weekend, he's also about to lose his Orlando, Fla., home because the county claims he owes thousands in back taxes. Can't someone give him an advance for Blade 4: House of Sand and Fog? read more

MINI-BLADE?

A judge has issued a warrant for the arrest of Wesley Snipes. The Blade star was a no-show for a court-ordered DNA test to resolve a paternity suit with an Indiana woman who claims he's the father of her 2-year-old son. If that's not enough to ruin a man's weekend, he's also about to lose his Orlando, Fla., home because the county claims he owes thousands in back taxes. Can't someone give him an advance for Blade 4: House of Sand and Fog? read more

BELIEVE IT... OR NOT

Yesterday at the child-molestation trial of Michael Jackson, the mother of the singer's accuser testified that while Jackson's aides held her and her family hostage, she was forced to make a video praising their captor's fathering skills. "I was confused," she said. "I was sad." (She thinks she was confused and sad? She oughtta try writing about this case every time Mike Ausiello takes a day off.) In closing, the woman swore she wouldn't sue the accused. During cross-examination Friday, the defense tried to prove the woman a con artist, accusing her of bilking other celebs of money and of allowing Jackson's associates to take her for a "body wax." Yes, we are still confused and sad. read more

Peter Brady's Perfect New Gig


Christopher Knight was hoping this would happen.

Though best known as Peter from The Brady Bunch, he is actually landing legitimate acting gigs that have nothing to do with the classic 1969-74 sitcom. Case in point: Tonight, he guest-stars on the season finale of Less Than Perfect (9:30 pm/ET on ABC). And, believe it or not, there's no wink or sly reference to his Brady past (not even a mention of pork chops and applesauce).

So how did this all happen? A little show called The Surreal Life. Thanks to VH1's reality celebrity mixer, the former child star finally had an opportunity to remind Hollywood he wasn't 14 anymore. "I have this age-disparity thing," the 47-year-old Knight tells TVGuide.com. "I'm constantly confronting a teenage version of myself."

Luckily, read more

Is Veronica Mars a Pothead?


Though we can imagine a high time being had by everyone working on Showtime's hip and trippy musical parody, Reefer Madness (premiering Saturday at 8 pm/ET), leading lady Kristen Bell tells TVGuide.com that Method acting was strongly discouraged on the set.

"When we first did it [Off-Broadway], Andy [Fickman, who directed both the stage and screen versions] wanted us to check all real drug experiences, if we had them, at the door and actually [approach the material] the way they did in the [original 1936 propaganda] film.

"They were essentially B-movie actors who thought they were going to make a movie that would change the views of America; it was meant to be serious," the Veronica Mars star continues. "It wasn't until they saw [the finished product] that they realized it was looking like a spoof."

In retrospect, perhaps the new flick's cast should have been allowed a toke for read more

FIN-TASTIC

New Line has picked up author Steve Alten's best-selling beach-read Meg, the tale of a Jurassic shark with a craving for modern man. Jan de Bont (Twister) will direct the guaranteed — yes, guaranteed — blockbuster, due in theaters July 4, 2006. read more

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