Today's News: Our Take

Question: How does it feel to ...

Question: How does it feel to be the world's most underrated sexual icon? — Chloe

Ausiello: Right this second, it feels itchy. Very itchy.

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Question: Can you tell us any ...

Question: Can you tell us any spoilers from life as we know it? — Leonardo M. Cocentino

Ausiello: In early December, the show dies.

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Question: Just thought you ...

Question: Just thought you should know that the Smurf Ride is no more at Kings Island ("Ask Ausiello" 11/10/04). They replaced it in 1990 with a totally lame haunted-car ride called Phantom Theater. I did have my first kiss on Phantom, but it wasn't very good. — Jessica

Ausiello: Whoa, Jessica — this is a family website! PPS — That blows about the Smurf Ride.

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Question: Who was your ...

Question: Who was your favorite character on Santa Barbara? I liked Cassandra until the writers made her ultra crazy. Any word if this soap will pop up on SOAPnet? — Adrian M

Ausiello: Still no word on SB heading to SOAPnet. And my favorite character was Flame Beaufort — until the writers made her look like Marguerite Hickey.

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Question: What kind of column ...

Question: What kind of column is this? You mostly talk about yourself. And they're paying you for this? — Boris

Ausiello: I can't believe it myself, Boris. Honestly.

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Question: Tell me something ...

Question: Tell me something juicy! — L.J.

Ausiello: Jessica went through a slutty phase in the early '90s.

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Question: Reading last week's ...

Question: Reading last week's "Ask Ausiello," for some reason I had the urge to buy TV Guide's Guide to TV. However, I want an authentic Ausiello-autographed version. Where is this available — other than Stalker Alert? — Matt

Ausiello: Stalker Alert sold out over the weekend. I hear there may be some copies popping up on eBay soon, though.

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Question: Your column is not ...

Question: Your column is not good, man. I've given it a chance, but you're bringing the site down. You have nothing to say and you seem content with basking in your own cleverness rather than Googling She-ra. What a waste of my time. — Broc Heasley

Ausiello: Stick around, it gets better. I swear!

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Question: If you could give ...

Question: If you could give only one Emmy for acting to someone on Scrubs, who would it be? The whole cast is superb, so it's a tough one. My vote goes to Sarah Chalke; she can play sexy and dorky at the same time better than anyone. — Chad

Ausiello: John C. McGinley. Hands. Down.

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Question: If you don't plug ...

Question: If you don't plug (shamelessly, I might add) TV Guide magazine or one of its products, do you lose your column, get a smaller cubicle or something like that? — Nicolle

Ausiello: Even worse: My picture shrinks.

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