Let's meet Nick Viall's contestants and see what we can predict about them.

Hometown: Seacaucus, NJ

Occupation: Aspiring Dolphin Trainer

Can she win?: No. There's a huge difference between "aspiring dolphin trainer" and "dolphin trainer," and you kinda have to be a real person with a real job to win The Bachelor. Jokey contestants don't make it far.

Hometown: Greenville, SC

Occupation: Model

Can she win?: Yes. Especially if she's a fitness model like Nick. They could bond over supplements and what social media marketing agency is best to work with.

Hometown: Tampa, FL

Occupation: Plastic Surgery Office Manager

Can she win?: I don't see why not. It's not like she's going back to the office after this anyway.

Hometown: Salt Lake City. UT

Occupation: Surgical Unit Nurse

Can she win?: Yes. This is an admirable job. Nurses are to The Bachelor are what veterans are to The Bachelorette.

Hometown: Santa Monica, CA

Occupation: Travel Nurse

Can she win?: Hard to say, since I don't know what a travel nurse is.

Hometown: Tulsa, OK

Occupation: Wedding Videographer

Can she win?: No. Ashley I. is a wedding videographer, and we know how that turned out.

Hometown: Miami, FL

Occupation: Business Owner

Can she win?: Unclear. We'd have to know what kind of business she owns. If she flips houses, sure. If she runs a massage parlor, ehhhhhh.

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Occupation: Small Business Owner

Can she win?: Wait, what's the difference between a "business owner" and a "small business owner?" Is Corrine international?

Hometown: Nashville, TN

Occupation: Neonatal Nurse

Can she win?: Yes, but the world needs neonatal nurses, and I hope she doesn't win so she can go back to her important real job.

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Occupation: Restaurant Server

Can she win?: Sure, why not.

Hometown: Las Vegas, NV

Occupation: Doula

Can she win?: Probably not. A doula is likely too hippieish a profession for Nick.

Hometown: Dallas, TX

Occupation: Marketing Manager

Can she win?: Yes. People from Dallas do extremely well on these shows.

Hometown: Vancouver, BC

Occupation: Photographer

Can she win?: Eh, sure. She could take pictures of Nick for his Instagram.

Hometown: Harlingen, TX

Occupation: Sales Manager

Can she win?: According to Wikipedia, Harlingen, TX has the lowest cost of living of any city in the United States. So no, Ida Marie won't win. Nick's been in LA too long to relate to her.

Hometown: New Orleans, NO

Occupation: Chef

Can she win?: Only if she doesn't make anything with carbs!

Hometown: Tacoma, WA

Occupation: Flight Attendant

Can she win?: There are two Jasmines, so one will go far and the other will not. My money's on this Jasmine, because a 25-year-old flight attendant from the Pacific Northwest won it all last year.

Hometown: San Francisco, CA

Occupation: Pro Basketball Dancer

Can she win?: Unless Jasmine B. is too similar to Lauren B., and Jasmine G. will go farther.

Hometown: Santa Cruz, CA

Occupation: Unemployed Nurse

Can she win?: Poor Josephine. She can't get a job even with the country in a nursing shortage.

Hometown: Lexington, KY

Occupation: Dental Hygienist

Can she win?: Yeah. My impulse here was to make a joke about dental hygiene in Kentucky, but you and I are better than that.

Hometown: Manhattan, NY

Occupation: Digital Marketing Manager

Can she win?: Sure, why not. She might only be on the show to get clients, though.

Hometown: Naples, FL

Occupation: Law School Graduate

Can she win?: She's a law school graduate, not a lawyer, so...yes?

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Occupation: Food Truck Owner

Can she win?: Hell yeah. This is a great quirky-cool job. I have a good feeling about Michelle.

Hometown: Nashville, TN

Occupation: Apparel Sales Representative

Can she win?: Yes. Sales rep is the most traditional job a Bachelor franchise contestant can have.

Hometown: Dallas, TX

Occupation: Attorney

Can she win?: No. On paper, Rachel is perfect for Nick. Too perfect.

Hometown: Hoxie, AR

Occupation: Fashion Boutique Owner

Can she win?: Yes. Unless she's a villain? She could be the season's villain, in which case she won't win. She has kind of a villainous look, doesn't she?

Hometown: Newport Beach, CA

Occupation: Grade School Teacher

Can she win?: I mean, she could, but she won't.

Hometown: San Diego, CA

Occupation: Account Manager

Can she win?: Honestly, an account manager from San Diego is probably Nick Viall's soul counterpart.

Hometown: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Mental Health Counselor

Can she win?: No. You know how The Bachelor will often have a hairdresser or an aesthetician on as contestants, but really they're just there to groom the other women?

Hometown: Montreal, QC

Occupation: Special Education Teacher

Can she win?: No. You already know she's going to come out of the limo speaking French, and that's boring. If she came out speaking Japanese, then she'd have a story.

Hometown: Chanhassen, MN

Occupation: Pilates Instructor

Can she win?: Yes. Her body's probably siiiiiiiiick.