Show You Most Pretend to Watch for the Drama But Actually Watch Because the People Are Hot: Big Brother To be fair, lots of people also watch to see the housemates scream at each other.

Show You Most Claim to Watch for How Bad It Is When You Actually Think It's Really Good: American Idol We're not kidding: Idol barely, just barely, beat Jersey Shore.

Because there's nothing loser-ish about giving it your best shot.

MTV's hit also won for "orangest cast."

If You Could Make One More Change to American Idol: No More of Every Contestant Ending Every Song by Running Through Every Note in His or Her Register Looking at you, Lambert.

Because you catch more flies with honey than by getting all up in some $!*&%#'s face.

Second-best reality show concept: making more of them that are half this good.

Idol wins in the ratings, but this wins in our poll. So this wins.

This also wins in the "best yelling at the rickshaw driver to hurry up" category.

Water plus cold plus claws: scary.