No one sees you coming. You are silent. You are deadly. You are hilarious. And none of your friends are safe, particularly if they are Sarah Jessica Parker, and they are dressed like ... this.

Look: You work. A lot. And you like guys. A lot. Ergo, the guys at work -- say, X-Men: First Class co-star Nicholas Hoult -- are going to be in your dating pool. And you make no apologies for that. Especially, because, come on, your boyfriends are gorgeous.

OK, sure: When you're at work, which is most of the time, you're rarely alone, but you goof around like you are anyway. And people love you for it.

Yeah, Dior wants to throw millions of dollars at you and is begging you to wear everything it makes. But you're not sure, like, why. "I'm a troll," Lawrence one told David Letterman. "Yeah, don't go see [my] movies - I'm a troll."

You will wear high-heel shoes and look good in them ... even as you trip in them. But more often, you just want to dress down like any other multimillionaire penthouse apartment shopper in New York, OK?

Do your work colleagues tend to fit into the size-2 category? Do you care? No. In fact, you will eat your dinner and make sure the world knows it. ("If anybody even tries to whisper the word 'diet'," Lawrence once said, "I'm like, 'You can go f--- yourself'."

Other people go out and party with their friends and get all silly and look ridiculous doing it. But you go out and party with your friends and get all silly and look adorable doing it.

Maybe you went out one day and got a tattoo on a whim. Good for you. A lot of people do that. But then you find out that your tattoo means something totally different from what you intended. If you are Jennifer Lawrence, your new hand tattoo is supposed to be the molecular formula for water, but the "2" is in the wrong place. But it doesn't matter! Because whenever you explain that, someone new decides you're adorable.

No matter how hard you work, or how far you roam, you make time for your friends ... even if that time is, in fact, at work.

Your private stuff is your private stuff, and if someone else, say, steals it, and puts it all over the Internet, that's on them. You're smart and strong enough to know when you've done nothing wrong, and just by speaking out, you empower others.

How committed are you when you take a new gig? If you're like, "I have to play an archer for a movie franchise, so I'mma go spend 15 hours practicing with a 20-pound bow that smacks me so hard that my arm will bruise up like I'm some kind of Greek wrestler," then guess what: You. Are. Jennifer. Lawrence.