Listen. If you concentrate, you can hear it: the sound of some enterprising young lad in their basement, printing off T-shirts that say "Free Paris." Timely. Give me a frickin' break. Honestly, if I hear one more thing about this chick, I'm gonna commit hari-kari with a spatula in front of my children. Why a spatula? "Because it will hurt more, you idiot!!!" Think Alan Rickman in Robin Hood, and you'll get the gist.

Well, Week 2 of this blog and a few things have happened. First, my beloved Canucks were knocked out of the playoffs by the Anaheim Ducks. I'm not angry. I actually went to Game 5 in Anaheim with one of my favorite people in the whole world to watch the game. Honestly, if Vancouver had won that game, it would have been a crime - they were so outplayed it was ridiculous. Poor Roberto Luongo (the Canucks goalie) is in therapy right now, he had so much rubber flying at him. I actually had to go drink for him. The Anaheim Ducks were simply a better team. That's right, "Ducks." Thank you, Disney. What an intimidating name.

Anyhow, did anybody catch this week's episode of 24? I did. Blink and you'll miss me. All the promised nudity, or almost-nudity, was clipped, just when the gettin' was good. Honestly, did we shoot it all for my benefit? You spend two hours bumping uglies with an actress, you at least want a little of it to end up onscreen. I'm the last person to say it, but I feel like a piece of meat. It brings whole new meaning to the term "warm prop."

As for this week's episode of Stargate entitled "The Bounty" - again, blink and you'll miss me. My role was shot over two whole days, and I'm not in it that much. I enjoy the episode, though, as I get to watch my favorite actress Claudia Black chew enormous amounts of scenery. I love her! Seriously, I could watch her read the phone book. She's so entertaining to watch when they let her off the leash. However, as an episode? Kinda filler. I've always had enormous problems with the notion of "space corn" being a strong genesis of drama. My opinion. Some may disagree. Oh, and watch for Daniel's line, "and you would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for us meddling kids!" Completely improvised. Thought that it would be cut for sure. Obviously, Scooby Doo, but I hate it when a character has to explain to the bad guy what the audience obviously implicitly understands. Pet peeve. Moving on.

Not a bad week overall. Made out with Kari Matchett on 24. Made out with Morena Baccarin in The Shroud. Seriously, I'm one project shy of making out with Treat Williams, and I've gotten nookie from the entire cast of TNT's new series Heartland (shameless plug). (Note to casting directors: I jest. Love Treat, but don't wanna go there.)

Well, if anyone wants to ask the obvious question, "Who is the better kisser?" the answer is me (shameless plug). For god's sake, it's my blog, I have to say something positive, damn it! Tune in next week as I shamelessly plug my next project (fingers crossed), Rage of Angels, written by my friend and coconspirator Chris Judge. This television pilot, directed by 24's Brad Turner, promises to blow the doors off of any evil character I've played before now. Sorry, not evil. Just misunderstood. You get my gist.

World events? Well, one of the most famous parks in the world, Griffith Park in Los Angeles, was burning down this week, but you wouldn't have known it. CNN was too busy covering - yes, you guessed it - Paris Hilton.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm one of the few white actors in Hollywood that she hasn't slept with. Or maybe I'm grateful. You get my gist.