Sat Sep 5 3:30pm
The Next Best Thing HBOSGe

In L.A., a heterosexual woman (Madonna) and a gay man (Rupert Everett) conceive a child and raise him, but complications arise when she falls in love and wants to move to New York. Ben: Benjamin Bratt. Sam: Malcolm Stumpf. Elizabeth: Illeana Douglas. Kevin (more…)

Sun Sep 6 12:00am
How I Met Your MotherDefinitions(Season 5, Episode 1) WGNA

In the fifth-season opener, the friends discover that Barney and Robin are secretly a couple; and Ted stresses over his first lecture as a Columbia professor.

Sun Sep 6 12:30am
How I Met Your MotherDouble Date(Season 5, Episode 2) WGNA

Ted goes on a blind date and realizes he went out with the woman before on an arranged date seven years earlier; and Barney takes Marshall on a guys' night out.

Sun Sep 6 1:00am
How I Met Your MotherRobin 101(Season 5, Episode 3) WGNA

Robin thinks Barney's cheating, but she soon sees it's just the opposite: He's spending his nights getting lessons from Ted on how to date Robin.

Sun Sep 6 1:30am
How I Met Your MotherThe Sexless Innkeeper(Season 5, Episode 4) WGNA

Marshall and Lily hope that Robin and Barney will be their new double-date friends, but they are a little too enthusiastic, prompting Robin and Barney to break up with them.

Sun Sep 6 8:30am
How I Met Your MotherTailgate(Season 7, Episode 13) FX

Marshall visits his father's grave to carry on their tailgating tradition. Meanwhile, Barney and Ted open a bar; and Robin fills in for an inebriated news anchor.

Sun Sep 6 9:00am
How I Met Your Mother46 Minutes(Season 7, Episode 14) FX

Lily and Marshall's official move to the suburbs hits a snag when her pushy father flat-out refuses to move out of their new digs. Meanwhile, Ted, Barney and Robin deal with their friends' exodus from the city by hitting a strip club.

Sun Sep 6 9:30am
How I Met Your MotherThe Burning Beekeeper(Season 7, Episode 15) FX

Lily asks for her father's help when she and Marshall decide to throw a housewarming party; Marshall's boss gets under Ted's skin and the two nearly come to blows; and Barney puts the moves on a wacky divorcée.

Sun Sep 6 10:00am
How I Met Your MotherThe Drunk Train(Season 7, Episode 16) FX

While joining Lily and Marshall on a Valentine's Day getaway to Vermont, Robin and Kevin entertain the notion of taking their relationship to another level. Meanwhile, a blind date provides Barney with an eye-opening revelation.

Mon Sep 7 1:00am
How I Met Your MotherDuel Citizenship(Season 5, Episode 5) WGNA

Barney tries to persuade Robin to become a U.S. citizen; and Ted and Marshall's road trip hits a bump when Lily decides to come along. Kenny Rogers provides the narration on an audio book the friends listen to on their trip.

Mon Sep 7 1:30am
How I Met Your MotherBagpipes(Season 5, Episode 6) WGNA

Barney, thinking he and Robin are the perfect couple, gives relationship advice to Marshall, which turns out to be a big mistake.

Mon Sep 7 8:00am
The SimpsonsBart the Murderer(Season 3, Episode 4) FXX

While working for Fat Tony (Joe Mantegna), Bart gains enough influence with his boss to solve his problems with Principal Skinner---perhaps permanently. Neil Patrick Harris has a voice cameo. Other voices: Nancy Cartwright, Phil Hartman, Harry Shearer, Han (more…)

Mon Sep 7 10:00pm
A Million Ways to Die in the West HBOSGe

After he is dumped by his girlfriend for ducking out of a fight, a hapless Old West farmhand learns how to shoot from an outlaw's wife. The pair eventually fall in love, but their romance is complicated when her husband challenges him to a showdown.

Tue Sep 8 1:00am
How I Met Your MotherStuff(Season 2, Episode 16) WGNA

Robin is uneasy with Ted keeping gifts from past lovers in the apartment, so the two of them ask the gang to vote on whether the objects should stay or go. Meanwhile, Lily expects everyone to attend a play she's in. Floppy-Haired Guy: Jason Lopez.

Tue Sep 8 1:20am
How I Met Your MotherLittle Minnesota(Season 4, Episode 11) TVLAND

Ted's younger sister visits, and he does everything in his power to keep her away from Barney. Meanwhile, Marshall takes Robin to a Minnesota-themed bar.

Tue Sep 8 1:30am
How I Met Your MotherArrivederci, Fiero(Season 2, Episode 17) WGNA

As Marshall's beloved Fiero prepares to hit 200,000 miles, it stops dead. While the gang wait in the garage for the verdict, they recall, through flashbacks, their Fiero memories, which include the story of how Marshall and Ted became friends.

Tue Sep 8 2:00am
How I Met Your MotherBenefits(Season 4, Episode 12) TVLAND

Robin and Ted become "friends with benefits," finding it helps them get along better in the apartment; reality stars Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Kendra Wilkinson and Kim Kardashian taunt Marshall from the pages of magazines.

Tue Sep 8 11:00am
How I Met Your MotherThe Best Man(Season 7, Episode 1) LIFE

In the seventh-season opener, Barney's mystery wedding prompts the friends to reminisce about Punchy's wedding and Marshall and Lily's pregnancy announcement; and Robin considers revealing her hidden feelings to Barney.

Tue Sep 8 11:30am
How I Met Your MotherThe Naked Truth(Season 7, Episode 2) LIFE

Marshall gets his dream job, but is terrified that videos from his past will surface and crush his hopes; and Ted doesn't know who to invite to the Architects Ball.

Tue Sep 8 12:00pm
How I Met Your MotherThe Ducky Tie(Season 7, Episode 3) LIFE

Ted meets an old girlfriend he had cheated on and tries to make up for his unfaithfulness; and Barney makes a bet with Lily and Marshall that could have Marshall wearing Barney's ducky tie.

Tue Sep 8 12:30pm
How I Met Your MotherThe Stinson Missile Crisis(Season 7, Episode 4) LIFE

Robin gets therapy by order of the court when she assaults a woman out to sabotage Barney's relationship; and Ted gets overly involved in Lily's pregnancy.

Tue Sep 8 12:30pm
How I Met Your MotherNo Pressure(Season 7, Episode 17) FX

Ted rocks Robin with a personal declaration about how he feels about her. Meanwhile, Barney tries to dig up some personal dirt on Lily and Marshall.

Tue Sep 8 1:00pm
How I Met Your MotherKarma(Season 7, Episode 18) FX

Despite the bare facts being revealed about Quinn's exotic profession, Barney realizes he has feelings for the young lady and sets out to win her over. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall welcome Robin to the suburbs and Ted wonders what to do about Robin's empty (more…)

Tue Sep 8 1:30pm
How I Met Your MotherThe Broath(Season 7, Episode 19) FX

The gang try to break up Barney and Quinn after learning that the couple plan to move in together. Meanwhile, Ted and Robin argue over subletting her apartment.

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