Today's News: Our Take


Smallville Oh my god, I think...

Smallville
Oh my god, I think I owe an apology to the comic-book crowd. Seriously, I had written this off as the WB's geeky patch for their leaky Dawson's Creek last season. But after finding out that even my internist is addicted to the teen superhero drama, I just had to drop in. Turns out Tom Welling's more than just delts and dimples, but the hunk of steel better get that x-ray vision checked. He's gotta be blind, dumping doe-eyed li'l Lana.

It's All Relative
Love how Paige Moss's bottle-garish pixie cut turned into a wavy brown mop in a single week. Sure, time had to pass between the filming of the pilot and the second episode, but please, a little continuity, folks? And while you're at it, a few laughs, too? I get that you want to woo both straights and gays, but having a chick strip down to her bra in a boutique isn't so much funny or hot. It's really just against most store policies.

Tarza read more

SIEGFRIED AND ROY UPDATE

The "Siegfried & Roy" show may go on, but it most likely won't be at The Mirage hotel-casino. Siegfried Fischbacher told Larry King on CNN last night that if Roy Horn recovers from last Friday's tiger attack, the duo would "take a different path, I'm sure, but ... the show is our life." Meanwhile, in an interview with The Associated Press, Fischbacher confirmed that Horn suffered a stroke after the attack. read more

BIG SPACES

A special two-hour edition of Trading Spaces featuring a $100,000 decorating budget pummeled its broadcast competition Sunday night, attracting a whopping 9.1 million viewers and finishing first among adults 18-49. In other ratings news, CBS scored its second-consecutive weekly victory of the new season among total viewers while NBC came out on top in the 18-49 demo. ABC, meanwhile, is the only network showing any growth over last year. read more

Survivor's Girl Scout Axed


As a Boy Scout troop leader, Lillian "Lill" Morris knows a thing or two about wilderness survival. And she has the merit badges to prove it! But Survivor: Pearl Islands is no simple walk in the woods. This good-natured 51-year-old scout just wasn't "prepared" for the lying and backstabbing among the show's castaways. But how can that be? Hasn't she ever watched Survivor?

"Well, I have to confess that my scout meetings are on Thursdays," Morris laughs to TV Guide Online. "So I didn't delve into [the show]. In fact, I used Ryan Shoulders a lot just to pick his brain. He would tell me what was going on and what I should be doing. He gave me some very good advice. He said, 'Do not give up, Lill. Don't give up until your torch is snuffed out.'"

Too bad both she and Shoulders were voted off fairly early in the game. Morris blames the remaining Morgan tribemates for undervaluing her experience. "I don't think they were really interested in an read more

Karen Black's Unhappy Halloween


Want to see something scary? Call Karen Black a scream queen; then run like hell. "I consider myself a tremendous talent," the snippish star of It's Alive! III, Children of the Corn IV and House of 1,000 Corpses tells TV Guide Online. "I do have quite the gift. I don't really like horror movies, nor do I want to do them. I just got on a path many years ago, and it got hard to avoid, because people kept offering me scary movies.

"I'd really be upset if you put in the [article] that that was the path I was on," she adds. "I've made 130 movies, and 14 of them were scary movies, so it's not that big of a deal."

Far be it from us to argue with a tremendous talent. However, we can't help but suspect that Black would have a tougher time making her case to anybody who's ever lost sleep after seeing her wear wooden teeth in Trilogy of Terror. Undaunted, she argues, "I'm interested in doing a very high aesthetic, and it's very hard for read more

HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!

Terminator-turned-politician Arnold Schwarzenegger was voted governor-elect of California Tuesday, ending Gray Davis's controversial run in office and killing any chance for a Junior 2. The 56-year-old Republican's decisive victory came despite 11th hour reports of serial groping and Hitler worship. "I've heard your voices loud and clear," he told his supporters last night. "The answer is clear: For the people to win, politics as usual must lose." First lady Maria Shriver, meanwhile, won't be putting her career on hold much longer. Ah-nold's better half intends to return to work at NBC News, where she has been on unpaid leave since her hubby announced his candidacy. read more

FIGHTING SPIRIT

It may not be curtains for the "Siegfried & Roy" show after all. In an interview with Germany's Bild newspaper, Siegfried Fischbacher said despite partner Roy Horn's severe mauling by a tiger on Friday, "our show will go on. We've always been fighters." Horn's doctors, however, say it's too early to determine whether Horn will make a complete recovery. read more

OOPS...

While speaking at a domestic violence conference Friday, the wife of Maryland Gov. Robert Ehrlich attempted to empower the crowd by saying, "If I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would." A rep for Kendel Ehrlich insists the first lady made an "inadvertent figure of speech." Spears's record label issued a statement condemning Ehrlich for "promoting violence." read more

IN RELATED NEWS...

A judge ordered an alleged stalker to stay 300 yards away from Britney Spears for the next three years. Superior Court Judge Alan Haber called Japanese businessman Masahiko Shizawa "abnormally obsessed and fixated" with the pop tart. read more

HEADING WEST

Matthew Perry will reprise his Emmy-nominated role as savvy White House associate counsel Joe Quincy on an episode of The West Wing next month. Hopefully, it'll be better than last week's installment, which my brother David — a West Wing nut — called a "major disappointment." read more

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