Today's News: Our Take


TONE-DEAF IN THE USA

In last night's cacophonous (and oh-so anticlimactic) Superstar USA finale, bubbly blond Jamie squeaked (and yowled and shrieked) past runners-up Rosa and Mario to win the American Idol lampoon's top prize — the chance to be humiliated on national television as the country's worst vocalist. For our exclusive interview with reality television's newest star, click here. But first, a quick round of applause for Entertainment News contributor Ben Katner for working cacophonous into a sentence. read more

LOVE ON THE ROCKS

Here's another Courtney Love update, folks: On Monday, the demarbled 39-year-old managed to stay out of jail and — according to sources — was not accused of assaulting anyone, possessing illegal drugs or breaking into any of her ex-boyfriends' homes. A quick round of applause for Courtney Love! read more

SCRIPT DOCTOR

Scrubs doc Zach Braff — the dude TV Guide Online recently dubbed a "comic genius" — has been tapped to perform a little emergency surgery (translation: rewrite) on Fox 2000's big-screen surfing flick 8 Track. Braff's pet indie project Garden State opens July 30. read more

MILLIONS SAY GOOD-BYE

Nearly 21 million viewers attended former President Reagan's funeral at Washington's National Cathedral via ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, CNBC, CNN, Fox News Channel and MSNBC last Friday. That number swelled to 35 million for Reagan's sunset burial in Simi Valley, Calif. Despite the strong turnout, the total falls short of other recent political events, including President Bush's State of the Union address in January, which drew 43.4 million viewers. read more

PICTURE PERFECT

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are developing a feature film about famed female war photographer Dickey Chapelle, Variety reports. Aniston is also expected to play the lead role. read more

NO SHOW

Here's some frightful news for Fear Factor emcee Joe Rogan. Comedy Central has axed The Man Show, the New York Post reports. Man just hasn't been the same since Rogan and Doug Stanhope took over for Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla — and that's coming from someone who has never seen the darn thing. read more

MACK ATTACK?

TLC singer T-Boz has filed for divorce from her husband, rapper Mack 10, claiming that he cheated on her and threatened to kill her. T-Boz, who is seeking full custody of their 3-year-old daughter, also took out a temporary restraining order against her soon-to-be-ex. Mack has denied the allegations. In sort-of-related news, James Brown pleaded guilty Monday to a charge of domestic violence. The 71-year-old Godfather of Soul was arrested in January, accused of pushing wife Tommie Rae Hynie to the floor and threatening to kill her. read more

NEW SENSATION

Turns out the winner of Mark Burnett's upcoming rock 'n' roll version of American Idol will step in as the lead singer of an "existing, internationally known rock group" that some people have heard of: INXS. The Rock Star champ will succeed former front man Michael Hutchence, who committed suicide in 1997. "After Michael died, we wanted to search the world for a new singer but didn't know how we could effectively do that," says surviving band member Tim Farriss. "By having Mark... embrace the concept, we've now found a fantastic way to make that happen." Rock Star is currently being shopped to the networks. read more

SHORT CUTS

A Santa Barbara County judge has refused to lower Michael Jackson's $3-million bail, arguing that the singer's wealth justified the above-average bail amount... Leonardo DiCaprio has signed on to produce and possibly star in The Man Who Loved Grizzlies, a biopic about late environmentalist Tim Treadwell, Variety reports. read more

TRACE FOUND ON DVD

Without a Trace: The Complete First Season will turn up on DVD Sept. 7 and include such extras as unaired scenes, a special expanded season finale and two featurettes that go behind the scenes of the hit CBS drama. read more

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